


Learning to Crawl

by DarlingLo



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Meetings, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:47:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingLo/pseuds/DarlingLo
Summary: It took Link four hours to learn his roommates name. And those four hours are all that was needed for him to absolutely hate him
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 163
Kudos: 177





	1. Autumn

He really, really wasn’t trying to be loud.

In fact, he was putting as much effort as he could manage into keeping his voice level. It wasn’t doing much good as it shakes, rises and dips along with his indignation, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

As it was, Link was already six minutes into this conversation and was slowly but surely losing any and all ability to give a shit about how loud he was being. He really couldn't give two fucks if everyone outside of the administration office could hear him.

“But I don’t  _ want  _ a roommate.”

This is pushed out through gritted teeth this time, considering the bored looking woman at the administrations desk didn’t care for the first thousand times he said it politely.

“Yes, Mr Neal, we’ve established this,” she answered dismissively, not even looking up from the computer screen in front of her. “But here we are.”

“I applied for a single room,” he hissed out, trying and failing to keep his composure. “That means one room, ONE room, just me.”

“I’m aware of the definition of a single room, Mr. Neal,” she answers him mechanically, “But space is short, and Mr. McLaughlin has been assigned to your room-“

“I don’t care!” He’s being petulant, he knows this. And, yet again, he can’t really find a single fuck to give. “I applied last year! And I was approved! Why-“

“I’m sorry, Mr. Neal.” The receptionist doesn’t seem to hear what he has to say, just drones on over his complaining. “It’s a double room, he’s been assigned, if you have any objections feel free to fill out the form to change rooms and we will see what we can do-“

“Whatever,” Link cuts her off. He would honestly feel better if she even flinched at the rough tone of his voice. He snatches the form from her manicured hand and turns to sulk away back to his double room when his footing fails beneath him and he realizes the floor is rushing up to meet his face.

He miraculously catches himself on the counter-stopping before he can totally eat shit-and he turns, more aggravated than ever to see what the fuck he just tripped over.

Turns out it’s a pair of checkered vans, casually crossed over each other at the ankle as the owner of the shoes sprawls out languidly in his chair not six feet from where Link threw his tantrum. Link’s eyes trace from the shoes to endlessly long legs connected to a boy slouched in his seat, hood over his face and body totally relaxed.

“Watch where the fuck you put your feet,” Link snarls out, too far gone to bother with manners.

Checkered Vans doesn’t answer, simply raising a hand from where his arms are crossed to casually flip the bird towards Link without even looking up.

Link is about to flip. If he’s being honest, he wants to tear Checkered Vans a new one. But he remembers he’s in the middle of the admin office, composes himself and just scoffs loudly enough so Checkered Vans and the receptionist can hear him. He settles his rage by storming out as loud as possible.

By the time he gets to his double room, he’s relatively calmer than he has been all morning. He’s still mad, mind you, but he’s relaxed enough to fall onto the disgusting couch in the middle of the dorm room. It’s sticky with old leather and smells like shoes, but it chills Link out enough that he manages to forget Checkered Vans and the receptionist who refused to help him.

He doesn’t notice that he slips into a doze, snoring lightly into the dusty air. He’s awakened by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor and the low grunt of someone dropping said heavy thing.

It takes him a moment to get back to himself, snorting unattractively as he sits up straight. He can’t really focus on what’s going on, he’s been fighting his worsening vision for months now. He's way too insecure for glasses. All he can see is someone in the doorway to the bedroom, shoving a pile of boxes into the room.

He doesn't have a lot to go on, the light is doing weird things to the silhouette of who Link can safely assume is his new roommate. All he can assess from where he's still half sprawled on the couch is that he's tall, even taller than Link is. Link stands rather tall at a proud six feet, this other guy was just downright ridiculous.

He stands slowly, figuring he should at least say hi or something. He stumbles over his bag, still dropped unceremoniously in the middle of the living room where Link abandoned it before he’d stormed off to bitch out the housing office.

“Fuck!-“

His sputtered curse catches the attention of his roommate and when Link looks up from steadying himself he’s immediately caught in the gaze of wide green eyes that for some annoying reason sends Link’s heart rate racing.

Link tells himself that it’s because he’s tall-and fuck is he-he’s taller than Link originally thought. He towers over Link, head slightly bent in the doorway. Short, dusty blonde curls peek out of the hood he’s wearing and there’s a messy scruff on his face.

It takes Link an embarrassingly long time to realize that while he’s been staring at the boy for a solid ten seconds with his jaw on the floor, the boy is staring at Link with a glare and a scowl.

“Uh, hi,” Link tries, voice strained and cracked from sleep.

The boy offers nothing beyond the twitch of a single eyebrow. He doesn’t even move from where he’s leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed.

“I’m-“

“The guy who didn’t want a new roommate, yeah, I got that.” The snarl comes out colored with a southern drawl that catches Link’s attention instantly.

“Oh.”

Um.

Links eyes drop to the floor, trailing down the legs of the jeans his roommate is wearing where they catch on a pair of checkered vans.

_ Well, shit _ .

He should apologize, he knows he should. But beneath the quelling and flat gaze of his new roommate his tongue feels thick and clumsy.

His earlier rage is gone, replaced by a burning blanket of embarrassment that covers the back of his neck. Of fucking course, too. He had to be saddled with the one person on earth who not only watched him throw a tantrum in the admin office, but then also got bitched out on the tail end of it.

_ Way to go, Neal _ .

“Link,” he finishes lamely.

His roommate levels him with a glare and doesn’t offer his own name.

Link doesn’t ask. Checkered Vans stares at him for another two full minutes before pushing off the doorway and turning back to finish unpacking his stuff.

It takes Link four more hours to learn that his roommates name was Rhett. Rhett James McLaughlin. And the only reason he knew that was because Rhett had left his registration papers strewn on the counter in the kitchen.

Rhett left a lot of things lying around.

It took Link four hours to learn his roommates name. And those four hours are all that was needed for him to absolutely hate him.

He hadn’t really bothered to even explore the dorm space he’d been assigned when he’d gotten there, too pissed off to care before he’d left to find someone to fix it. The kitchen was small, the living room cramped. He hadn’t seen the bedroom yet, trying his hardest to avoid Rhett if he could help it.

Instead, he has silently fumed as he surveyed the space and wonders how, while he’d napped on the couch, Rhett had managed to entirely spread himself over the entire area. There are somehow already two pairs of shoes abandoned in the middle of the floor, a jacket tossed nonchalantly over the stained coffee table, three water bottles on the counter along with Rhett’s registration papers and a myriad of boxes unevenly stacked in the hallway.

It makes the back of Link’s teeth itch.

It’s not OCD exactly, but Link likes things neat, and clean. Like any  _ normal _ fucking person would. And the fact that Rhett had lived here for a stunning six hours and it was already this messy made Link want to scream.

Or at least straighten the boxes.

He doesn’t dare though, instead resigning himself to stay on the couch, listening to Rhett move around in the bedroom, glaring holes into the unevenly stacked boxes. He finally admits defeat when the sun begins to set, casting odd shadows onto the ugly carpet and he remembers that class starts tomorrow and he really can’t spend all night sulking on the couch.

So he sulks to his room, telling himself to chill, to not make a scene or snap at Rhett or do anything to bug him-

_ Oh hell no. _

“Why do you get the bottom bunk?”

Rhett’s green eyes flick to him for a second where he’s lounging in a pile of laundry strewn all over the bottom bunk, a used science textbook open in his hands. If he’s at all offended by the harsh tone that Link uses, he gives no reaction.

“Cause I want it,” Rhett drawls after letting the silence drag on for a second too long.

Link bristles. His teeth grind together as he fights the fit that’s brewing.

“So that means you just get it? I live here too, ya know.” His voice is already trembling at the end.

“Well you slept jus’ fine on the couch, so if it’s really that big a’deal you can jus’ sleep there,” Rhett answers, a smirk tugging up on the side of his mouth as he smugly settles back into his laundry. He idly flips a page of his textbook like he’s already won the argument.

Link stands there with his mouth gaping open at the fucking audacity this asshole has before sputtering, “What-what the crap? Who the hell died and made you king-“

“Well if ya want it that bad,” Rhett cuts him off and lowers the textbook a fraction of an inch so he can pierce Link with those stupid eyes once again, “come and take it from me.”

_ Oh, fuck this guy. _

Link vaguely entertains the idea of throwing something at Rhett’s stupidly smug face before remembering the unpleasant fact that they have to live with each other for the next year. And Rhett was  _ waaaaaay _ bigger than he was. Link may be angry, but he wasn’t stupid.

Also, it was barely the first day. Maybe Rhett would get that stick out of his ass once classes started.

Settling with the slightly less petty version of expressing his anger, Link instead remained silent, changing for bed and folding his clothes before putting them away because he’s not a fucking Neanderthal. If he slammed his dresser drawers loudly to signify that that’s what you’re supposed to do with your clothes, not sleep on them, he doesn’t comment on it.

Link can feel Rhett’s eyes on him as he changes, can feel them as he cleans up after himself. He still feels them until he switches off the light, not bothering to ask if Rhett was even done reading the book still in his hands and sending the room into darkness.

He can’t help the childish urge to make as much noise as possible as he climbs up to the top bunk, punching his pillow in half hearted frustration and flopping down hard enough to make the entire frame rattle. He doesn’t even bother making his bed, too drained to care and curling up in his just comforter.

He lets out a loud sigh to top the whole thing off.

After twenty seconds of the heaviest silence Link’s ever heard in his life he hears Rhett chuckle, hears the sound of the book closing and being tossed casually to the floor. Link rolls his eyes into the darkness as he listens to the sound of Rhett wiggling around still on his fucking laundry and getting comfortable before the room is plunged into silence once again.

Link is exhausted despite his nap on the couch, his short interactions with Rhett sapping all the energy he’d had for the day, and he feels himself drifting off. He’s finally somewhat comfortable and he’s almost there, almost asleep when his eyes shoot open as he hears it. A groan leaves his throat and he suddenly wants to cry.

Because  _ of fucking course  _ Rhett snores.

* * *

Turns out it wasn’t just the beginning of classes that stressed Rhett out into being the biggest dick on the planet. He was actually just like that.

It was taking a bigger toll on Link than he was even comfortable admitting to himself. Studying was a nightmare for one thing. Rhett seemed to have absolutely no problem with turning the volume up on the tv as loud as he could get away with whenever Link tried reading in the living room, barely sparing Link an irritated glare whenever he cleared his throat to get his attention.

“I’m readin’ over here.” He tries to keep it neutral, he does. He doesn’t even throw in a rude word or anything.

“And I’m watchin’ the game,” Rhett drawls back, eyes stubbornly glued to the tv.

Link had learned on the third day of living with Rhett that pushing the argument was a lost cause. Dead on arrival. Completely fucking useless.

It hadn’t even been anything important, but Link was stressed and the fact that he’d instantly tripped over those stupid checkered fucking vans as soon as he’d stepped through the door after classes that day was enough for him to snap-

_ Is it really so hard to move your fucking shoes out of the way? _

-And instantly get dragged into what he now considers the longest two hours of his life. The argument- no it was a fight, who was he kidding. The fight that had ensued after that nearly had Link ready to shoot himself. He called Rhett a sloppy bitch, and Rhett had hautily called him an uptight twink, and if that didn’t just wind Link up like all get out. He’d gotten so worked up, screaming and spitting and wringing his hands in a frantic burst of seething anger and Rhett hadn’t reacted at all. He’s simply sat there on the couch, mouth quirked up in that irritating ass smirk as Link screamed himself hoarse. Rhett continues answering in clipped one word answers in a frustratingly calm voice until Link had run out of steam and went to bed.

All he’d gotten in response to the well aimed kick he gave the offending shoes was the same smug chuckle. He didn’t hear the one he got when he slammed the door.

So, Link stays quiet, either finding sanctuary in his headphones and Walkman or just dealing with it.

Honestly, he could always just go to the bedroom, he could. But the constant disarray and overwhelming aura of Rhett that the other boy had managed to permeate around the entire dorm was enough to make him twitchy with anxiety.

Truth be told, he’s always wracked with anxiety around Rhett. Something about the way he moves-all long limbs and slow, careful hands. Or the way he sits completely still and pins Link to his seat with those condescending green eyes makes Link feel like all the air has suddenly vacated the room.

It makes him hate Rhett even more. He could deal with the messiness and and snark, at least he’d put in a better effort to deal with it if Rhett didn’t tug on every single nerve ending in Link’s body. It’s irrational in its entirety, and the fact that Link is fully aware that it’s bullshit thank you very much, makes it all the more frustrating that he can’t seem to keep his shit together around Rhett. He hates the fact that Rhett could wind him up into a stuttering and hateful mess with a few monosyllabic answers and an artfully raised eyebrow.

Link tries his hardest to avoid any and all altercations that Rhett seems determined to make happen. He’s not always successful. They wind up at each other’s throats more often than is entirely comfortable and the first week crawls by at a sluggish pace.

The annoying thing is though, he feels like he could probably like Rhett if he wasn’t the biggest asshole this side of the Mississippi. He sees the games Rhett plays late into the night and he plays all the same ones. He sees the teams Rhett keeps up with and could easily become a fan.

The fact that Rhett seems to feel the same hostility towards Link stings in a way Link doesn’t want to think about.

He walks into their dorm when a class was cancelled two weeks later and finds Rhett sprawled out on the couch, a battered guitar in his hands as he crooned out a Merle Haggard song that was one of Link’s favorites.

He froze in the doorway, one hand still on the knob and the other floating pointlessly by his head where he was reaching to take off his hat. Rhett’s eyes were shut and his head was tilted back, the long line of his throat working slightly as his low and scratchy voice filled the room with words that Link knows by heart.

It sends a flash of heat straight through Link. His palms are sweating and he knows his mouth is just hanging open stupidly. His gaze falls on Rhett’s long, delicate looking fingers strumming the strings blindly, looking nothing like the brutish headache Link’s come to think of him as. He can’t tear his gaze away from his fucking hands, and he’s still caught in them when Rhett finishes the song and opens his eyes.

Other then that, thin eyelids fluttering open to watch Link with a dark and piercing look, Rhett doesn’t move, still leaning back with his head tilted on the arm of the couch. His fingers strum out the ending chords, dancing through the notes quietly as he lets the music fade into the air that is slowly suffocating Link.

Link stares. Rhett still gives no indication that he intends on moving. It’s hours, days until Link can force himself to swallow, the click of it too loud. It’s another eternity before he can breathe again, much less speak.

And when he can, his voice is completely, embarrassingly wrecked, a thin and thready mimicry of his normal tenor. Rhett doesn’t move an inch, seemingly content with watching Link struggle and waiting for him to snap himself out of it.

“I uh- I love that song,” Link wheezes out. “That was, real good man.”

It’s far and wide the nicest thing he’s ever said to Rhett since they met, and he’s aware of how stupid the words sound when they fall to floor, rough and brittle. He has no fucking clue why he feels like he’s on fire still, hand still hovering near his head and chest tight enough he can feel his heart flutter with the lack of oxygen.

Rhett finally nods, a slow and calculated movement with eyes still half mast melting Link against the door. Link can finally move, shocked like an electric hum and he pushes off the door, all the energy flooding him with something that feels like adrenaline. He’s painfully aware that he’s both talking way too fast and nearly tripping over his own feet as he’s stumbling to the bedroom.

“Real cool, man. Didn’t even know ya could play. Be nice’ta have some music round here sometimes. Uh, I got homework so if ya need me just-“

He doesn’t have to finish the sentence, mercifully reaching the bedroom and slamming the door with more force than he needs to, hands shaking with nerves he still doesn’t understand.

It takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize-after he spends a lengthy ten seconds hyperventilating with his back against the door- that he’s hard, almost painfully so. His cock pressing against the tight denim of his jeans and throbbing for attention.

God it’s been weeks since Link’s masturbated. One of the perks of sharing a room with Rhett was that his sex drive had all but plummeted, too preoccupied with the constant irritation that seemed to be all Link was capable of lately.

Not to mention the sound of Rhett snoring wasn’t exactly the hugest turn on for him.

But now, there’s a burning wave of arousal clouding his head, unable to clear it of the sight of Rhett’s long, careful fingers and they way they had so casually played the strings of his ugly old guitar. His head is filled with Rhett’s low, crooning voice singing out a melody from his childhood and drowning out all rational thought.

He doesn’t even stop to think about it. His trembling hands falling to hastily undo his jeans, shoving them and his boxers down to his knees and taking himself in hand.

The low groan he lets out is criminal, even for him and he has to clamp down on his lip to stop the rest of it from getting out. He’s already wet, damp, sticky, and so hard it’s nearly painful. He begins to stroke himself-harsh and fast- and gosh, he’s never felt this out of control before; has no idea where this is coming from and he can’t even stop the images that bombard his mind as he touches himself.

Strong and slender fingers, big sturdy hands, how they delicately handled everything even though they looked like they could crush anything beneath their heavy weight. That deep, soothing tenor, like dark honey with a scratch to it that sets Link on fire. Those endless, endless green eyes that Link can never read, the way they opened slowly to pierce Link like they can see right fucking through him-

That does it.

His orgasm hits like a goddamn freight train, feeling like a kick to the solar plexus as his body seized up with pleasure, sending static shocks of ecstasy rolling down his back and legs. His hips rocking on their own accord. He can dimly feel his own come hitting his stomach as his vision fades in and out.

It’s over faster than he’s ready for, and he slumps against the door, sinking to sit against it. His skin feels hot and flushed, and he’s filled with such a deep seeded shame that he couldn’t even remember the high he’d just fallen from.

His breathing sounds too loud in the silent room, his heartbeat thundering around his ears.

Outside the door, Rhett begins to sing again.

* * *

He can’t look Rhett in the eye for almost another week.

It’s torture honestly, because for some god forsaken reason, Rhett seems to be on a mission to completely wear out his guitar and is constantly playing it at all hours now. He also seems to find Link’s discomfort absolutely hilarious. There’s a mischievous twinkle in his eyes when Link gets back from the gym and finds Rhett back on the couch day after day.

For two days after, Link is paralyzed with fear that Rhett knows, that he heard him jerking off to the memory of him playing with only a paper thin door between them. He finally concludes that he didn’t, that he has no idea given how Rhett doesn’t change his behavior in the slightest aside from his newfound obsession with his guitar.

It saves Link some panic, but there’s still plenty of that going on in his head regardless.

He’s straight. He’s always been straight because that’s all you can really be in Buies Creek. There wasn’t really any choice there, and if you deviated from that people would talk. And whisper and stare and make strange faces when you went out in public.

Or worse.

It was never anything Link had ever thought about, it was always just... like that. He liked girls. He’d always liked girls. He was normal, for crying out loud.

But as much as he repeated it to himself it did nothing to ease the ten thousand pound weight that he’s been wearing like a necklace for the last week. He hasn’t masturbated since, despite the fact that listening to Rhett singing in the next room makes his cock stir in his pants when he’s trying to do his homework. He can’t force himself to think about it and feels vaguely nauseous when he gets too close to it. He flat out refuses to even entertain the notion that he’s attracted to Rhett, even inside his own head.

Especially inside his own head. He swears Rhett can read his mind. The way his eyes stare straight through him as he watches him nervously pace the dorm like a cat watching a mouse freak out before it decided it wanted to eat him. He couldn’t think about it, positive Rhett would take one look at him and see it written in bold letters across his face.

He manages a week and thanks his lucky stars that Rhett seems just as content ignoring Link as Link is ignoring him. They manage six days of silent cohabitation to the soundtrack of Rhett doing irritatingly good Merle Haggard covers when it breaks.

And of course it breaks and of course it’s Link who breaks it. He tries not to, he really does, but he’s wound like a fucking top and he’s been on edge for days and honestly cleaning up after yourself is not fucking rocket science. If he wasn’t so annoyed he would be embarrassed that all it took was a stray McDonalds bag and a few stray fries on the counter to break his silence.

“Fucking really?” The words are the first spoken between them since what Link’s been calling “the incident,” and they sound overly loud in the room as Rhett’s fingers still on the guitar strings.

Rhett still has the drink from said McDonalds meal on the coffee table in front of him and leans forward deliberately, maintaining casual eye contact with Link the entire time as he picks up the drink and finishes it, slurping on the ice obnoxiously and shaking it for good measure before throwing it. It sails in a graceful arc and lands on the floor directly next to the trash can, clattering on the tile and Link knows he did that on fucking purpose.

_ Of course he fucking did that on purpose and there was no fucking way it could have been that perfect. Like that would have been a perfect shot and of course it fucking lands directly next to the goddamn trash can. _

Link stays where he is for way longer than he’s proud of, mouth agape and blinking intelligently as Rhett watches him calmly.

“Oops,” Rhett finally says once Link is about to start screaming. There’s a smirk on his face and a tilt to his head, almost like he’s begging Link to say something else.

It’s takes willpower that Link genuinely didn’t know he possessed to exhale, close his eyes and count to ten.

He doesn’t speak to Rhett for the rest of the night.

Weird as it sounds, it makes Link feel slightly better and less nervous about the whole Rhett thing. Gay or straight, there was no fucking way Link could possibly be attracted to someone as infuriating as Rhett. He wasn’t that much of a masochist.

Also, you can’t call it attraction when all you want to do is shove a pillow over their face until they stop fucking snoring.

* * *

“I’m uh, going to a party.”

Link really has no idea why he’s even telling Rhett this, standing awkwardly in the doorway in what could be called the laziest costume known to man; a pair of cat ears and some sloppily drawn on whiskers. Rhett looks equally confused, one eyebrow cocking up quizzically.

Link had to begrudgingly admit that Rhett hadn’t been... painfully rude during the self imposed quiet game they’d been playing for longer than Link was able to keep up with. He’d been, dare Link say it, halfway nice. He hadn’t made nearly as much of a mess, and nothing awful had happened since the whole McDonald’s Mexican standoff. Still he really has no clue what possessed him to speak to Rhett in the first place, much less follow it up with-

“Somewhere close by, I think it’s on campus. Wanna come? Might be fun.”

That was a fucking lie though. He’d been invited by some girl in one of his classes. A loud, annoying girl who Link had literally never spoken to but still managed a brief nod when she’d pressed the flyer to his chest with her sharp manicure. It would most certainly not be fun.

Why he’d even nodded was still way beyond him, but he’d been so fucking stressed between trying to keep up with his coursework and walking on eggshells around Rhett the idea of a party sounded like a goddamn godsend. He had been completely blindsided too, so preoccupied he hadn’t even noticed it was almost Halloween.

And maybe he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Rhett in ways he really shouldn’t, hadn’t been able to stop remembering his voice and the way his dexterous hands looked handling that ancient guitar. But whether he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him or not, he had been able to stop himself from furiously jerking off any time Rhett did anything slightly alluring, had managed to stop blushing up to his goddamn ears when Rhett would change for bed. He considered it progress. Inviting him to a party didn’t cross any lines, he was his roommate for fucks sake. Some people were even friends with their roommates.

“M going to a party too.” Rhett finally answers, closing his eyes and leaning back against his pillow, one arm coming up to cover his face.

It’s a clear dismissal and Link swallows nervously, trying to convince himself that he’s not a little bummed out by it. “Oh, yeah. Um. Next time.”

It sounds lame to his own ears and he can’t even be mad that Rhett doesn’t bother with an answer passed a bored sounding hum before Link shuts the door behind him.

* * *

“Well, aren’t you pretty.”

“Yes, I am.”

It’s weird, cause it’s another guy who’s leaning into his space, with his weird blonde buzz cut and his mismatched eyes and Link thinks he really should have a bigger problem with this, should’ve spit out a “dude, I’m straight” or something to the effect, not tossed his head back like a proud thoroughbred and taken the compliment.

Maybe he’s just drunk.

_ He’s definitely drunk _ .

Or maybe he’s not thinking clearly.

_ Oh, certainly not. _

But for some reason the only problem with this is that the boy's eyes are a weird mesh of blue and grey, and all that can pass through Link’s addled mind is that they’re not-

_ Green _

\- the right color at all. The way they gleam down at him is predatory. That’s nothing new, but it’s missing the fire that Rhett’s eyes-

_ I don’t even like Rhett _

-get when he and Link square off for another pointless argument in the living room. They send shivers down the back of Link’s neck, but not in the way that he’s used to.

Also his hair is stupid. It’s all wrong. Too light and too short. It’s missing something. Like dishwater curls...

_ This is all very stupid. Stop thinking about Rhett for sobbin’ out loud. _

But the boy is still talking somehow, his mouth moving too fast for Link to keep up with and his words are lost in the thrum of the music.

Link had been right, this was very much not fun. He had arrived way too early and in result had drank way more than he’d intended to. He had already ran into everyone he knew, had already had all the pointless conversations he’d needed to have about classes and other bullshit and had already shaken off the loud girl who’d invited him in the first place.

Which landed him right where he was now, crowded into a corner with a pushy blonde who clearly didn’t know the meaning of personal space who was still talking loudly in his ear.

“-seen you around campus, thought you looked way too good to be a student, maybe a hot teachers aid or something-“

Link isn’t even paying attention to what he’s saying, staring somewhere past the boy's shoulder at the lights bouncing off the wall when he feels the cold press of a drink into his unoccupied hand.

“What? Oh.” Link tries, tongue thick and sluggish with alcohol as his hand fumbles for the cup. “I already-“

“I know, but I thought I’d save ya the trouble of getting to the kitchen for a new one.” Buzzcut winks sloppily, swaying closer to Link and paying no mind when Link shrinks back against the wall.

“No, no it’s fine-“ Link tries another step back even as Buzzcut presses the cup harder into his hand. “I think I’ve had eno-“

“Oh no-no-no, it’s a party,” Buzzcut drawls out. “It’s a party gorgeous, don’t be a buzzkill. It’s only one drink.”

He’s way too close now, completely looming over Link with the hand holding the drink, twining his fingers around Link’s and trapping his hand there. The other hand comes up to the wall to cut Link off from the rest of the party and there’s alarm bells ringing in Link’s head now when he speaks again.

“I already said-“

“He already has a drink.”

_ What the- _

Link blinks twice when he hears the rough voice behind him. It takes a second to place it, but it’s definitely him. The same voice that told him he was going to another party that night.

“Excuse me?” Buzzcut snarks back, eyes raising to stare over Link’s head at the intruder but not making any move to back off.

“I said he already has a drink.” Rhett speaks loudly again, floating a couple inches above Link’s ear and he feels him step closer so his shoulder blades graze the edges of Rhett's chest. “So why don’t you take a real quick sip of that one instead?”

There’s a heavy venom in Rhett’s voice like Link’s never heard before and he watches Buzzcut shrink back slightly, too scared to turn around. 

“I already have one,” Buzzcut says feebly, raising the can of beer in his other hand, eyes still trained several inches over Link’s hair as he takes two quick steps back. Link can finally exhale the breath he’s holding once the air in front of him is clear.

“Yeah that’s what i thought.” Link feels Rhett take another step closer, his back coming into full contact with Rhett’s front and he shivers, feeling Rhett’s body envelop him in the first touch they’ve ever shared. “Look bud, he’s clearly not interested.”

“He looked to me like he was pretty interested.” Buzzcut looks angry now, if still a bit scared, and draws himself up to full height.

Link feels Rhett do the same behind him, his head looming over Link’s own and he has to contain the full body shudder that the scent of Rhett’s proximity does to him. 

“He looked terrified and you’da seen that if you had any semblance of social skills, but since you clearly don’t lemme help ya out there. Fuck off, yeah? Take a breather from trying to drug my roommate and go find someone else to awkwardly hit on.”

A hand comes up and grabs at Link’s hip roughly, tugging him back against the body behind him. Link goes with the touch immediately, not even thinking as he leans into the warmth of Rhett’s touch. He catches his own foot on the way back and stumbles, the hand not holding his drink flying down and catching Rhett’s sturdy thigh for balance. Rhett makes no movement past tightening his grip on Link.

Buzzcut must see something in Rhett’s eyes that Link can’t, and his eyes flicker to the hand Rhett has possessively clinging to Link’s hip before he shrugs, mumbling something about Link not even being that hot anyways before he takes the drink he’d offered back, slinking off into the crowd.

Link feels Rhett’s chest move with his heavy breaths and revels in it for a split second before Rhett’s hand slips off his waist and he turns around, finally, and finds Rhett staring after the guy with a murderous expression, darker than any glare he’s ever thrown Link even during their worst fights. The lights catch Rhett’s sharp cheekbones and cast shadows under his eyes that make him look mean and dangerous, tall and menacing the way he hovers over Link.

Heat flares up in his stomach and he can feel it climbing up his face as his heart flutters in overdrive. The way Rhett’s chest moves with heavy breaths he’s still struggling to get a grip on makes Links palms itch with the urge to reach up and feel it, the strong muscles of his wide chest and the heartbeat that he can only dream is going as fast as his own.

He can’t move, he can barely breathe. The way his head is spinning makes everything slow and sleepy, and he almost manages to open his mouth to thank Rhett when Rhett looks down at him.

Link is very drunk, so he convinces himself that he’s only imagining the way Rhett’s eyes soften minutely.

“I, uh-” Link can’t get the words out.

“I watched him spike that drink.” Rhett leans down and speaks loudly into Links ear, the faintest scent of the beer he’s been drinking wafting over Link. “Didn’t know who it was for, but didn’t want ya gettin mixed up in all that.”

There’s a ball of ice lodged in Link’s voice box. He manages a shaky nod, which seems to be enough for Rhett.

“Watch yerself, Neal,” Rhett says, a hand coming up and squeezing Link’s bicep twice. Link’s body instinctively sways closer, his shoulder bumping Rhett’s before the other boy lets go. He can feel the touch burning through his sweater even as Rhett steps back, nodding once at him before disappearing back into the throng of the party.

Links pulse never really returns to normal after Rhett’s exit, and it keeps him feeling floaty and on edge for the rest of the night until he finally decides to call it. He doesn’t bother to say bye to anyone before placing his plastic cup down on the first flat surface he sees and fights his way towards the front door.

He stops once he reaches it and looks back and realizes he’s looking for Rhett, his mind catching on before his eyes do and he pointedly ignores the disappointment when he can’t see Rhett’s curls over the crowd

_ Musta headed home already. _

He firmly tells himself that he is most certainly not upset about it and begins the short walk home, tripping over his feet every few steps and already beginning to feel the hangover he’d no doubt have in the morning.

* * *

He makes it home by some other miracle.

The lights are all on when he opens the dorm door and he squints into the light, blurry vision made all the worse with the alcohol still swimming through him and it takes him a long moment to focus on Rhett where he’s leaning on the counter.

Link freezes when he sees him, standing in the doorway like an idiot as Rhett’s glare bruns right through him.

“Hey," he manages, shifting his weight.

Rhett doesn’t answer, still staring right through him.

The air feels instantly too heavy as Link is assaulted with the memory of Rhett’s solid body behind him and he exhales through his nose. The tension is so thick he could cut it with a freaking butter knife and he speaks, if only to break the stifling silence.

“Thanks for that, back there.” He can hear how slurred his words come out, can feel how badly he’s swaying. “Really saved my ass, no pun intended.”

Rhett doesn’t react to the joke, standing like a giant statue with the same stony expression on his face.

Link can’t get a read on him, so he plows on.

“Better get ta bed ya know? Gonna be hungover as shit tomorrow-“

He lets his sentence die where he leaves it, heading towards their room. He stumbles slightly, horribly off kilter from how much he drank but he still firmly holds himself straight.

He doesn’t even see the flurry of movement before Rhett catches his arm, spinning him around until his back slams against the wall of the hallway and all the air is forced out of him in a huff as Rhett crowds into his space, trapping him there.

“What the fuck man-“ Panic and confusion catching Link a second too slow as Rhett envelopes him.

Rhett doesn’t answer, instead staring at him darkly where he is, dark green eyes pinning him to the wall as one hand curled around Links bicep and his feet planted squarely on the carpet. Link is frozen, doesn’t even know how to move when Rhett steps into the space of his spread thighs, standing so close their hips could touch if Link pressed forward even an inch

Like he’d ever have the courage.

Instead he stays frozen, breathing hot and heaving into the space between them that’s steadily shrinking as Rhett moves in closer, a large hand coming up to press against the wall next to Link's head and the other one catching on the studded belt at Links hips in a mimicry of his protective movements earlier that night.

“Rhett-“ Link is barely able to gasp out his name.

Rhett doesn’t move, his face stilling an inch from Links and Link huffs out a long breath and meets his eyes

And completely freezes. Rhett’s eyes are so intense, completely black blown out irises barely contained by a ring of green as Rhett’s emotionless face hovers scant inches from Link's.

Link can smell the beer on his breath again as his body flares hot, flames licking up his body until he can feel the blush in his goddamn forehead. Rhett’s scent invaded all of Link’s senses, shorting out his brain and all he can think is  _ fuck he’s handsome, was he always that handsome? _

Finally, finally he lets go of Link, his fingers releasing one at a time like he’s reluctant to break the contact and then steps back, keeping up his smoldering stare deep into Link's eyes before he turns and disappears into their bedroom. Link hears the creak of the bed springs as he sinks into the bottom bunk.

The dorm falls into silence after that.

It takes him way longer than he’s proud of to peel himself off the wall and into his room to go to bed, the sound of Rhett snoring suspiciously absent even as he climbs into his bed and drifts off.


	2. Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so so fucking sorry this took longer than it rightfully should have to get written. i just havent been in a good headspace for a while but i am trying. and as always, a HUGE GIGANTIC MONUMENTAL thank you to out_of_nowhere cause as usual without them i literally would never get anything done. like ever.

Link was gonna kill him.

And that would be that. Link's life would end right there and he'd rot away in some prison for the rest of his fucking life and at the moment he's strangely okay with that because he was going to fucking strangle Rhett.

It wasn't the first time he'd been in this exact position either. Hell it wasn't even the first time this week. Night after night he'd found himself here, twisted up in his sheets with his pillow over his head while Rhett snored away four feet below him, fast a-fucking-sleep and sounding like rocks in a goddamn blender. Link idly wonders if it's possible to make yourself snore louder on purpose, not even thinking for a second that if it was possible Rhett wouldn't jump at the chance to be even more annoying,

The rational part of him that manages to stay sane around Rhett knows he's being a child about it, knows that he's stressed from midterms and he's just being dramatic. It doesn't stop him from grinding his teeth together when Rhett coughs in his sleep, leaving blissful silence in its wake before starting again with the snoring, even louder than before if it was even possible.

Link rolls over, pressing his pillow to his ears and not bothering to stifle the groan he lets out, knowing nothing short of the goddamn apocalypse would rouse Rhett at this hour.

Granted, keeping Link awake with his monstrous sleep apnea wasn't the worst thing Rhett had been guilty of in the last few weeks. The snoring was almost forgivable in the wake of the fucking whiplash Link was still feeling, that and the confusion at what the hell Rhett was playing at.

It had started immediately after the Halloween party, after the staring contest in the hallway that Link barely remembered through the drunken haze but still refused to let himself think about. He had woken up with what he'd willingly argue was the worst hangover in human history, drool drying on the side of his face and the whole nine yards. He hadn't even managed to sit up fully in the top bunk before he'd felt a hand on his shoulder, too gentle for how badly it had startled him.

The shock he felt was unparalleled by anything he's felt in his life when he'd turned and found Rhett standing next to his his bed, their heads at eye level with each other and Rhett's expression unreadable. There had been a beat of unbearable silence before Rhett had raised a hand and held a water bottle aloft, expression still unchanged.

Link had reached out and taken the peace offering, and Rhett nodded once before he went off to shower, leaving Link to watch him leave.

When he’d returned, Link hadn’t been doing much better. He’d moved from moping in bed to moping on the couch, staring unseeing at the tv as it blared old cartoon reruns. Rhett had paused in the doorway for a split second before plopping down on the other side of the couch.

Link was still way too out of it to even acknowledge the other boy, not even looking over at him when Rhett cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Hmm.” The disinterested hum was all he could offer.

“I uh-“ Rhett sounds, shy. And it’s weird enough to actually prompt Link to turn his head and stare at him, ignoring the throbbing in his head that the motion prompts.

“I’m kinda hungover too. Gettin’ too old fer this shit.” Rhett runs a hand through his curls almost self consciously, glancing at Link once before locking his gaze back to the tv. “You look a little better.”

It’s more words than Link’s ever heard Rhett string together without an insult peppered in, and for once, Link finds himself completely speechless. 

On the one hand, fuck this guy, he’s been nothing but rude as all hell since Link stepped into the dorm-

_He had a valid reason you arrogant prick_

And on the other hand, Link was still inexplicably drawn to him, all but yearned to hear his voice directed at him. And here he was, speaking to him like...like a normal fucking person. 

_-Like all Link fucking wanted_ -

_Shut UP_

His first instinct is to snap at him, tell him to fuck right the goddamn hell off because that’s just how he and Rhett talk to each other.

But not today apparently, and then again; gift horse, mouth.

“I don’t feel much better,” Link mumbles, the safest answer he could think of.

Rhett chuckles once at that, leaning his head on the back of the couch and swiveling to face Link. “Yeah I was jus’ tryin’ to be nice. Ya still look like shit.”

Link turned to fix Rhett with a sarcastic and wide eyed stare that broke when he blinked, the light too bright to keep it up. “You? Bein nice? And yer head didn’t explode?”

Rhett laughs then, tossing his head back and letting the sound ring out loud and echoing around the apartment. Link’s mouth goes dry watching the other boy's throat work around the sound.

_Get a fucking grip._

“Eh you're gonna be fine if yer already back to bein’ a neurotic little brat," Rhett huffs out at the end of his laugh, turning his sparkling eyes back to Link.

Link is too far gone to do much more than scoff, leaning back into the couch and tilting his head to mirror Rhett’s position on the couching and facing him dead on. “Go fuck yourself man,” he says, ignoring how his words slur together and focusing on the smile it illicites from Rhett.

“Maybe later.” Rhett snickers again, turning back to the tv and setting lower into the couch, clearly gearing up to stay. “I’ll let you watch if yer lucky.”

_The actual fuck?!_

Link doesn’t answer, facing back to the tv and letting Rhett’s joke die where it lands, not wanting to rock the boat and break the amicable grounding he’s suddenly found himself on.

And then later that day, Rhett locked Link out of the dorm when Link had gone out to do laundry and Link had to listen to the asshole laugh at him for a solid ten minutes before he unlocked the door to let him in.

“Fucking seriously?” Link spat out once Rhett opened the door.

“Sorry man, didn’t know you were out there.” Rhett choked out, still laughing at his own hilarity and looking completely unrepentant. 

So that effectively ruined the soft feeling from the morning. Link hadn’t even known whether to continue the fight or drop it, choosing the latter solely based on how good a mood Rhett remained in for the rest of the day.

But then the rest of the week followed in the same pattern. Rhett would be shockingly nice, followed by Link trying in kind to return the sentiment before it was shattered by Rhett reverting to his normal ways, dragging Link into another argument about something else pointless or just winding Link up so much they ignored each other for the rest of the night.

It finally stressed Link out so much that, while in line at the McDonald's on campus, with Rhett's clipped words from that morning still fresh in his head-

_“There’s no need to be that loud in the mornings. Other people sleep Neal.”_

_Rhett was still groggy, half asleep, and wrapped up in his blankets as Link got dressed for class._

_“And other people get up on time for class.” Link was still pissy from being kept up all night with Rhett’s snoring, and he didn’t even feel bad about snapping back at him._

_Rhett had rolled his eyes, wrapping himself back up in his comforter and shoving his head under his pillow. “Dick.”_

-that he heard himself ordering for two, instead of just himself. 

It took the entirety of the walk back to convince himself that he wasn’t doing anything weird. It was a peace offering, if anything. 

And even then his voice shook when he’d unlocked the front door and found Rhett lounging on the couch.

“I got you a burger, ya know, for waking’ ya up this mornin’,” Link says, dropping the bag on the table in front of Rhett before he could lose his nerve. Rhett’s eyebrows climbed to his hairline, head tilting curiously before his long arms unfolded to investigate the bag. Link drops on the couch beside him, pointedly not looking at him and trying to get his hands to stop shaking through willpower alone. 

_It was just a burge_ r, Link thinks frantically, feeling the blush start to climb up his throat as he watches Rhett paw through his food. 

_Locate some goddamn chill, Neal._

Rhett pulls out and then takes a bite of his burger, shooting Link a half smile that softens his face more than Link even thought was possible. The blush he’d been fighting wins out and he speaks, just to kill the tension.

“I had to walk back from the library with it, so it might have soggy buns.”

“Soggy Buns,” Rhett mumbles with his mouth full. “That was my nickname in high school.”

It’s the dumbest and most ridiculous thing Link’s ever heard and catches him so off guard he doesn’t have time to stop the bark of laughter startled out of him. He’s giggling so hard his eyes are watering, and when he finally opens his eyes Rhett grins at him around his next mouthful of burger, and it sets Link’s stomach off all over again. 

“You’re weird,” is all Link managed as he fought off another round of giggles. Rhett shrugged modestly, his body relaxing further into the couch as he kept eating.

_Great. He’s good looking and funny_. 

Rhett snorts loudly in his sleep, and the sound of it startles Link out of his musings and he peeks over the side of the bed. The clock next to Rhett’s bed blinks 2:13 happily at him and he decides enough is enough. Time to commit a fucking felony.

He makes no effort to be quiet as he climbs down to the floor.

Rhett’s sprawled on his back, one arm extended over his head on the pillow and the other resting on his belly, the tattered wife beater he sleeps in riding up his torso and, well, fuck.

There’s a strip of skin showing just above the waistband of his pajama bottoms, white and freckled and Link feels his stomach drop out to the floor. It really wasn’t fair that as much of a dick as Rhett was he still managed to be sweet at times and enticing and still have the ability to put Link through as much of a sexual crisis as he has been.

_And yeah it’s right there looking white and tasty and inviting and Link wants to lean down and run his tongue across and then push the shirt up more and maybe-_

_No_

It is 2 o’clock in the fucking morning, and Link really cannot afford to stay here and salivate over an inch of skin on his sleeping roommate because, well for one that makes him a creep. 

And two, he’s not gay goddammit. He’s straight, he’s normal. Rhett is annoying and he does not like him and he's really getting sick of having this argument with himself, thank you very much.

But even as Link watches, Rhett exhales in his sleep. Sighing softly and cutting through all the snores before moving his arm and tilting his face towards Link. The soft moonlight filtering through the blinds catching his sharp cheekbones and Link thinks he’s almost beautiful like this.

Rhett’s face is smooth of all the stress Link never realized he carried and he looks young and vulnerable. His curls are tousled on his pillow and Link suddenly wants nothing more than to run his hands through them. 

_Jesus Christ._

Now Link is more irritated than ever. He had every intention of coming down here and smacking Rhett in the face with a pillow and telling him in a few choice words to shut the ever loving fuck up so he can get some sleep; he has a fucking test tomorrow. But now, faced with the picture of Rhett sleeping peacefully aside from the noise pouring out of his mouth, Link is once again stuck. He’s-

_NO, fucking no-_

He cannot, absolutely cannot let himself feel this way for Rhett. Rhett is annoying and loud and crass and rude and honestly really insensitive and downright mean and Link can't handle it. If he was going to be gay (which he’s not) he would not fall for someone this awful because he has standards and he-

_fuck all of this_

So instead of smothering him with a pillow or at the very least waking him up, Link does what he honestly wants to.

He reaches out and touches the warm and soft skin of Rhett's upper arm, not letting the heat soak through his hand so he can savor it and as gently as he can, pulls Rhett towards him.

The other boy willingly follows Link's phantom touch, rolling over and re-adjusting himself. Both of Rhett's sturdy arms wind beneath his pillow and he snuggles into it.

The snoring stops.

If Link stays down there, watching Rhett sleep for another two minutes before he manages to drag himself back up to bed in the now peaceful silence that echoes around the room he doesn’t think too much about it.

* * *

Rhett is in a very good mood the next morning.

Well, at least as good a mood as Rhett gets in the morning. He’s definitely not a morning person, as far as Link has learned. He’s tired and grouchy the instant his alarm goes off, and really not in the mood for conversation. He’d rather sit and grumble about the early hour or simply go back to sleep, throwing a few barbs Link’s way before he wraps himself up back in his comforter. 

This morning, however, Rhett is already awake, making coffee in the shitty little machine that lives on their counter and he’s offering a steaming cup to Link before he’s even awake enough to register it.

Link pauses, eyeing the cup suspiciously. “Did’ja spit in it?”

“Oh yeah. Nice and wet,” Rhett says with a leer, waggling his eyebrows. 

Link takes the cup with an eye roll, knowing by now that Rhett was more than likely kidding but still inspecting the coffee heavily before taking a sip.

“Why the hell are you awake this early? You dun even have class today,” Link asks, eyeing Rhett over the rim of his coffee mug.

“Not much really. ‘m all caught up on homework, did all ma reading.” Rhett stretches, arms raising high enough to brush the ceiling. “Might just bum out all day here.”

“Lucky bastard.” Link himself still had one more final, and he was so nervous about it his hands were already shaking. “I got one more test and this dang coffee’s gonna kill me.” 

He determinedly keeps his gaze on the counter, and not on the bumps of Rhett’s ribcage where they peek into view as the other boy stretches.

“Eh. You’ll be fine. Plus you got my spit in yer coffee.” Rhett sends a shit eating grin over the counter to match Link’s horrified stare. “Maybe you’ll absorb some of my intelligence through that.”

Link giggles at that, high and stupid despite his best efforts, and even Rhett manages to laugh along side him.

Link left for his his classes that day feeling lighter than he’d ever had, like maybe Rhett was coming around to him; repressed weird gay thoughts or not.

And again, with most things related to Rhett, it didn’t last long.

In fact, it only lasted until Link got home from his final class that day. An hour late.

An entire hour late, having gotten caught up in a discussion with his professor about something or other. The sun was already down, wind was tearing across campus like the apocalypse, threatening snow. 

Link was already in a mood when he'd finally reached his dorm, completely fed up with the weather and school and anything that involved brain activity altogether, wanting nothing more than to collapse on his gross ass couch and watch tv until his brain melted.

And instead, he’d opened the door and had found a completely destroyed apartment, shoes and clothes thrown everywhere, almost deliberately with what seemed like every dish they owned lying prone in the sink. 

All he had been able to do was release a defeated huff, eyes sweeping over the mess as anger and a blinding rage roared up in his and his voice returned. 

“McLaughlin!” Link screamed out, fully intent on making Rhett pay for what he’d done.

Silence meets Link’s ears, his cry echoing round the empty apartment and the anger radiating around his head intensifies. Seriously? Right when he finally thought he was getting somewhere with Rhett he still manages to find ways to piss Link off even when he’s not in the fucking apartment. 

He debates leaving the dishes there, waiting for Rhett to return to let him know just how he feels about this.

But one look at the crusting plates and soggy cereal floating in one of the bowls is enough to make goosebumps rise on the back of Link’s arms. 

_The nerve of this fucking dude_.

Link can’t handle it. He really can’t, the mess makes him so uneasy he can’t even sit still.

So he washes Rhett’s gross dishes. It’s honestly more irritating that cleaning relaxes Link in this weird way and that by the time he’s nearly done with them all and he finally hears Rhett’s key in the door, he’s really not even that upset anymore. 

And that relative calm lasts him exactly ten seconds.

Rhett sways up to the counter and leans against it, arms crossed and smug grin already plastered on his face. 

“Lookit you bein’ a good housewife,” Rhett says in a teasing tone dripping with honey, and yeah, yeah that’s about all Link can handle.

“A good house- the fuck, Rhett? You’ve been here alone for like four hours-“

“Miss me already?” Rhett drops his face to rest in his hands, still smirking up at Link.

“And you’ve managed to completely destroy the place!” Link plows on, refusing to break and give Rhett the satisfaction.

“You finished early! You can’t be mad, you said I had ‘till five!” Rhett laughs out, neck flushing pink as he giggles. 

“I am an hour late!”

“Are you?”

“This isn’t funny!” Link hears his voice catch on the last word.

_“This isn’t funny,_ ” Rhett mimics back without missing a beat.

Link’s blood boils. “Seriously, who the flying fuck raised you!” 

“Your mom.”

“Oh yeah, real fucking mature Rhett-“ Link is still washing the dishes with way more force than necessary, water sloshing onto the counter and over his forearms. “Is it really so hard to clean up after yourself? I’m not your fucking maid-“

“Really?” Rhett cuts him off with a shit eating grin. “Cause ya look like the best damn housekeeper I’ve ever laid my-“

“Fuck you!”

“Maybe when you’re done,” Rhett chuckles out, still looking way too pleased with himself.

_Take a day off Rhett,_ Link thinks savagely as he watches the other boy laugh at his irritation.

“God do you ever shut the fuck up!?” Link lifts the glass he’s currently washing and slams it against the counter for emphasis, taking Rhett’s silence as a good sign. “You are without a dang doubt the worst person on this goddamn planet-“ 

He trails off as his rant loses steam and he realizes Rhett isn’t even looking at him anymore. He’s staring at the counter, eyes wide with shock and mouth slightly open.

Link is about to scream again, ask him what was so dang _interesting_ that he couldn’t even listen to him when he pauses.

_My hand hurts_.

He follows Rhett’s line of vision and catches sight of the hand that he’s slammed onto the counter. The glass he was holding is in two pieces, and there’s a gash across his palm. His hand is resting in a steadily growing pool of his own blood, staining the counter he’d just finished cleaning.

He’s more outraged at the mess at first, the wild thought about how annoying it’s gonna be to clean up and he releases the glass, fingers peeling away when he catches sight of how bad the cut really is and he stops again as his vision begins to blur at the edges. 

He looks up at Rhett slowly, like he’s underwater. Rhett’s head is glowing in a weird halo of light from the hallway and Link’s head is spinning. What was he gonna say?

“Oh.”

It’s all he manages before he realizes he’s falling. The last thing he hears is Rhett shouting his name before his vision goes entirely. 

* * *

It comes back to Link slower than he’s honestly proud of.

The room is still hazy when he finally comes to, blinking slowly in the dying sunlight. The first thing he’s aware of is that he’s warm, not overly warm but comfortable, like someone’s thrown the ratty blanket that lives at the end of the couch over him. The very next thing he’s aware of is the cold feeling on his forehead, and the fact that the apartment is strangely quiet but he can hear something moving around in the next room.

He groans once, a release of tension in his head and the movement in the next room stops, letting Link relax enough to fall back asleep.

* * *

When he wakes again, the next thing he's aware of is someone holding his left hand hostage. The feeling is soft and warm and it takes him a year and half to open his eyes fully to see who's caressing his knuckles softly like they were made of glass. 

It rattled him to his core to see that it’s Rhett, sitting on the floor next to the couch he’s apparently been laid down on. Rhett’s eyes are trained on the tv, an old movie playing at a volume way too low to register to Link. Rhett’s lower lip is tugged between his teeth, and when Link lets his eyes travel down his own arm he finds his hand trapped between Rhett’s in the other boys lap. Rhett’s fingers run over the back of his hand and down his palm, the movement almost unconscious as Rhett seems completely checked out. 

Link freezes, eyes still half open as he watches Rhett’s fingers dance over his hand. His heart is currently making a valiant effort to climb up his throat and out his mouth, and he has to remind himself to take a heavy, shuddering breath to stop the headache that’s flirting with his temples.

Link’s sharp inhale catches Rhett’s attention and Rhett snaps his head around to meet Link’s eyes, expression panicked and eyes wild like a child with his hand caught in the fucking cookie jar.

“Oh! Hey man, welcome back.” Link feels Rhett drop his hand as the other boy stands, pacing in a tiny circle around the couch, his body tight with nerves. “Kinda freaked me out there fer a sec.”

“Wha’ happened?” Link slurs out as best he can, Rhett still blurring around the edges.

“You fuckin fainted.” Rhett's voice is hard around the words, his eyes dropping to the floor. “Scared the hell out of me.”

Link nods blankly, watching Rhett wring his giant hands out nervously and his eyes flutter closed, too dizzy for the moment to keep his eyes open.

The sound of footsteps coming closer drag Link back to the land of the living, and he opens his eyes to watch as Rhett crouches down by his head.

Link feels all the air leave the room in one soft exhale. Rhett's looking at him too softly. Too sweet, and the entire illusion is shattered once Rhett lays a hand across Link's forearm in what is surely meant to be a comforting gesture. 

“You feel in’ okay tho?” There’s no voice lent to Rhett’s question, the whisper wafting over Link’s heated and flushed face.

It leaves Link's head spinning even more than it was when he first woke up. He manages a shaky nod, the rest of his body too shocked to move still, even as Rhett raises a hand. Link can see the other boys fingers trembling slightly as they move through the air, and he watches them as long as he can until they land on his face, so gentle along the line of his throat.

_He’s just bein’ nice, he’s just bein’ nice._

He tries to repeat this to himself even as Rhett’s thumb moves in a sweeping motion over the corner of his jaw. It’s not doing any good, the feeling of Rhett’s hand on his face is too much as it sends a searing flame down his front all the way to the pit of his stomach. 

It awakens something deep in Link, something that he feels has been building for awhile, the thing he’s always ignored when he screams at Rhett or watches him sleep. Whatever it is, it’s loud and heavy now, and it pushes Link up till he’s propped on an elbow, Rhett’s hand faltering and falling off his jaw to flutter back to the other boys lap.

“I was real worried, Link. Never seen anything like it.” Rhett speaks to his chest, chin tucked down as his eyes scan the floor in front of the couch.

Link never gets a chance to answer as Rhett rises too fast for Link to follow, beginning a quick stride around the room as he talks too quickly.

“Like you just went down, I wasn’t even really tryin’ to piss you off I was just messin around, I really didn’t think I’d upset you that much and I’m real sorry-“

Rhett's words don't really register around Link's addled mind and he watches Rhett pace the room. He’s overly fixated on Rhett’s strong thighs as they move in his jeans and he chalks it up to the possible concussion. His hand feels cold and empty now, and he flexes his fingers, missing the feeling of Rhett’s hand in his own and in a rush of bravery he sits up on his elbow again, ignoring the rush of blood in his head that sends a wave of dizziness through him and he watches his hand reach up. His fingers stretch out and his arm raises up towards Rhett, a silent plea he hadn’t even admitted to himself that he hadn’t realized he’d been wanting to ask for.

Rhett freezes in his pacing, eyes wide and guarded. His arms are still wound around his skin middle and his eyes train on Link's outstretched hand. Time stands still for Link, all kinds of thoughts flitting through his head. Ranging from Rhett straight out punching him, to him walking out of the room, to the admin office, to demand another roommate; a roommate who doesn’t want him the way Link suddenly wants to feel all of him. 

It takes a year and half for anything to happen, the two of them caught in a Mexican standoff and Link seriously thinks he’s a heartbeat and a half away from cardiac arrest when Rhett finally moves.

It’s a minute movement, undetectable if Link wasn’t staring at him like his life depended on it. Rhett’s eyes soften, and his shoulders lower a fraction. Link can hear his lungs expand with each strangled breath and he feels like he’s about to hyperventilate when Rhett finally reaches one hand out, shaking and nervous to place his hand in Link’s outstretched palm.

Link feels the heat of Rhett’s hand in his before he realizes his fingers have closed around Rhett’s, clutching his hand in a desperate grasp and he’s yanking Rhett towards him, sitting up too fast and watching the distorted vision of Rhett sway towards him.

Rhett lands heavily on the couch beside him, and Link scrambled to his knees, watching every tick of the other boys face. Rhett’s eyes remain locked on their entwined hands, his chest curiously even with calm breaths even as Link’s own breath fights its way out of his lungs.

Rhett moves first, free hand coming up to run through Link’s hair.

Link decides in that instant that that just won’t do, and he reaches out to catch it. His hand closes around Rhett’s thick wrist and Rhett inhaled sharply, just as stunned as Link is by his own bravery.

Link moves out of his own jurisdiction at that point and swings a leg over Rhett’s, straddling him in a move that leaves him breathless and lightheaded in its ballsiness and he isn’t even sure of it until Rhett exhales, hot and heavy in a breath that warms Link’s collarbones.

Rhett lets him settle on his lap, hands firmly planted in the cushions on either side of him. It’s warm, and it’s nice, and it sends Link’s heart racing.

But.

But this isn’t what Link wants though. He feels uncomfortable, nervous and fidgety and he squirms, sure that at any second Rhett’s gonna say screw this whole being nice thing and shove him off. He’s still not sure where Rhett stands on all this, can almost convince himself that Rhett’s just letting him because he fucking fainted on him.

Rhett doesn’t though, instead his hands lift, finally, land on Link’s hips, the pressure of them sure and grounding. Rhett's fingers dig into the soft flesh of Link's waist and it makes Link's head spin.

"What do you want?" Rhett’s rough whisper floats to Links ears and he whines unconsciously, grinding down.

Link blinks heavily as he watches Rhett’s eyes drop down to half mast, Rhett’s hips shifting beneath him. 

“I want-“ He doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know what he wants. He feels easy, like some slutty girl giving it up to the first guy who’s nice to her.

He swivels his hips in a slow, cautions circle. He feels Rhett grind up against him. His head spins. Rhett shoots forward suddenly, pressing his face against Link’s. His stubble scratches Link’s cheekbone and it takes willpower he didn’t know he had not to shudder against the feeling.

"I asked what you want," Rhett growls against the side of his jaw, breath fanning out over Link's jaw and sending a wave of shiners down his back, willpower breaking finally. 

"I don’t know." Link can't even focus, his entire world narrowed down to the feeling of Rhett breathing against his throat. 

Rhett pulls back and his hands come up to frame Link’s face, one large hand winding into the short hair at the back of Link’s neck and the other curling around Link's jaw.

The air has turned to stone.

“What do you want?” Rhett grinds out again, eyes hard and flashing something Link can’t identify.

“I, I-“ Link stutters out.

Rhett takes the decision out of his hands, and tugs him down and presses his mouth hard against his own in a possessive kiss. 

Link almost faints again.

Rhett opens his mouth up, roughly licking deep into his mouth as Link struggles to catch up. He’s never been kissed like this before, like he’s being consumed, as Rhett takes what he wants from him. He’s trembling from nerves and from want, fingers dancing shakily along the sides of Rhett’s face as he tries to follow the instructions Rhett’s body gives him.

_Just like that, yes, take it, good._

One large hand comes up and cups the back of Link’s skull, holding him in place as Rhett’s other hand reaches up to hold his jaw. Rhett tugs at Link’s chin, forcing his mouth open more as he plunges his tongue in, deep and hot. Link feels the fingers at the back of his neck tighten to press sharp nails into the tender skin there and he whines, high and desperate into Rhett’s mouth. 

The answering growl that Rhett lets out at the sound would be enough to make Link’s legs give out if he were standing. Rhett's moves both hands up the sides of Link’s face to wind into his hair, tangling in the short strands and tilting his head where Rhett wants him. Link goes easily, willingly, arching up into the feeling of Rhett’s mouth, his hands.

When Rhett pulls away with a wet noise Link doesn’t even get time to open his eyes before Rhett attacks his throat, bruising the skin with hot, open mouthed kisses with too much teeth and Link cries out, mouth dropping open and head falling back to offer more of himself to Rhett. His hands twist into the fabric of Rhett’s sweater, stretching the fabric beyond repair when Rhett bites down hard into his collarbone.

The shock of pain goes straight to his cock and his hips jerk forward on their own accord, grinding down into Rhett’s crotch clumsily. All at once he feels Rhett's hard on against his own arousal and all conscious thought leaves his head.

He gives himself to Rhett then, letting his body sway forward to melt into Rhett’s and feeling his hips move of their own accord, grinding down onto the other boy's lap as Rhett’s breathing hitches and he yanks his mouth off of Link’s neck to catch his lips in another bruising kiss.

Link finds himself windmilling as the room spins around him and suddenly he’s on his back, the carpet itchy on the back of his neck as Rhett hovers above him. He has no idea how they even got off the couch and onto the floor, but he really can’t focus on that right now. Not when Rhett has one hand sliding down his body, ghosting up his leg to tug his thigh around his waist. Rhett lowers his hips then to Links, lining up the matching hardness in their jeans and breathing hotly against Link’s face as he dry humps him into the carpet. 

It’s too much, too much, and too hot and Rhett is too heavy and Link can't get away from it and he realizes with a flash of sheer terror that he’s about to come in his shorts on the disgusting carpet beneath his roommate. 

He tears his mouth away from Rhett’s, feeling Rhett latch onto his clavicle even as his hips rise up to meet Rhett’s thrusts. “Rhett, no please, I can’t-“

“You can,” Rhett huffs out against his chest, licking a solid stripe of Link’s neck that makes his dick throb against Rhett’s stomach.

“I’m gonna-“ Link’s about to come, can feel the stirring of his balls and the heat at the base of his spine. He’s terrified, the idea of the release here, at Rhett’s mercy too much for him. He’s never wanted anything more in his life but the brick wall seems too high to jump. “Please don’t make me-“

Rhett lifts himself off of him then, and Link wants to shout out in frustration. He was so close, and he needs Rhett back on him now. 

“I’m not gonna make you do anything.” Rhett runs a hand possessively down the side of Link’s face in a gesture that sends the fire burning in Link’s chest into overdrive. Link leans into the touch, biting at Rhett’s thumb as he runs it over his lower lip.

“Do you want it?” Rhett’s growl reverberates through Link like a hurricane.

“I want it-“ Link barely chokes the words out as Rhett’s hand circles his throat for a split second before it runs down his chest to his belt. “i just can’t-“

“You can’t, or you don’t want to?” Rhett cuts him off, winding a hand around his hip to tug him against his body again, wringing another whine out of Link.

Link’s head is spinning, and he catches the side of Rhett’s head to tug him into another kiss. Rhett tilts his head away, Link’s lips landing uselessly on Rhett’s ear and Link is about to cry, so tightly wound he can’t stand it

“I want it-“ he chokes out, his voice thin and needy and unrecognizable to his own ears. He knows in that moment he’s never been more honest, has never wanted anything more in his fucking life. He could cry, he wants it so badly. “I want it, please I’m sorry-“

Rhett stares down at him with wide green eyes for a beat, until he seems to take pity on him. 

He lowers himself down again, wrapping Link’s leg higher on his hip.

“Take what you want, go on,” Rhett growls in Link’s ear, his other hand winding through Link’s hair to guide his face to his throat.

_What he wants_

The permission gritted out through Rhett’s teeth is too much for Link to handle, and his mouth acts on its own accord, tongue flicking out to lick at Rhett’s Adam’s apple lightly and relishing in the whine it drags from Rhett. His hips are still moving, writhing against Rhett’s body and the sensations are carrying him higher than he can manage, the cries and whimpers falling out his mouth faster than he can regulate them.

He’s only carried higher by the sounds coming from Rhett. Deep, guttural noises that sound like they’re being pulled from his very soul as Rhett works him over, hands sliding up Link’s body to grasp at his face, his arms, his ass, to the thigh that’s wrapped around him. 

Link’s dangerously close, his entire body on fire and he tries to say this, tires to push it out of his mouth, but the only sounds he can produce are high whines and gasps, his fists useless as they pound and grasp at Rhett’s broad shoulders and Rhett doesn't seem to mind at all. If anything the other boys hands pull him closer and his hips grind down harder and Link’s vision goes white.

The world tilts off its axis for a moment, and the floor wobbles dangerously beneath Link.

Rhett’s still moving on top of him when Link’s floats back into consciousness. He tilts his head back and hears the reedy whine leave his mouth as Rhett growls into the side of his neck, breath coming faster and heavier into Link’s hair as his hands leave bruises on Link’s hips. Rhett grinds down against Link’s spent dick and he lets out a weak cry from over sensitivity.

It’s instantly answered with a low and throaty groan as Rhett’s hips stutter in their movements, one hand coming up to twist into Link’s hair to yank his head back and Link feels Rhett come, feels the spasms wrack his body against his own and the warmth that joins the answering wetness in his jeans.

Rhett lets himself fall, boneless and heavy in a graceless slump directly on top of Link. The air huffs out of his lungs and ruffles an errant curl over Rhett’s ear. The world shifts back into orbit, and Link drags in a heavy breath, feeling every ounce of Rhett’s weight on top of him as all the tension bleeds out of Rhett’s limbs.

It’s a year or an hour before Rhett finally moves, having fallen into a rhythm of breathing in tandem with Link on the floor. Link’s hands have migrated to Rhett’s broad shoulders, running the barest if fingertips down the goose pimpled flesh. He’s pretty sure Rhett’s fallen asleep. His legs are numb and there’s a twinge in his right shoulder that’s building towards intolerable. 

He refuses to move, though. His hearts still going a thousand beats a second and he’s sure Rhett can feel it. The tangy musk of Rhett and their combined sweat is still clouding his head and the way Rhett’s slow even breathing warms his throat is enough to make Link never want to move again.

When Rhett does lift himself off Link, the sun has long set, and the shadows from the lights left on in their bedroom play along the sharp angles of Rhett’s face. He doesn’t meet Link’s eyes, just gets up slowly, fingertips trailing over Link’s biceps as he stands. 

He leaves Link on the floor and walks straight out of the dorm, his shoes somehow still on and the door clicks softly behind him. Sounding like a gunshot in the silence around them.

It takes Link far too long to get up. When he finally admits defeat and heads to bed, Rhett still hasn’t returned. 

  
  
  



	3. Spring, Part 1

Christmas was always Link's favorite holiday.

What wasn’t to like? It snowed often, the songs were pretty, and he got to see his parents, got to sleep in his own bed and woke up each morning of break to the smell of bacon for breakfast and cookies for later. His relatives filled his home and the twinkling lights of the neighborhood shone through his window at night to lull him to sleep. By all accounts he should be good now, should have released the stress he feels has been riding on his back all semester.

_You’d think, right?_

Instead he feels like he’s about to either scream or pass out, and it just so happened to be the completely wrong time and place to do any of that. 

It was by all intents and purposes the perfect Christmas Eve scene, his mother and her husband and a few scattered relatives were surrounding him in the pew, the songs of the Christmas Eve mass swelling around him. The gospel had just been read and Link swayed on his feet as he stood for the psalms. 

He had never felt out of place in church before, had always felt like he could rely on the warm and comforting sense of community and his faith to cradle him through the worst life had to throw at him. 

But now, with the words of the gospel ringing in his ears, Link feels like he's on fire, burning in the deep crevices of hell prematurely. And what's worse is he can feel as though everyone can see his discomfort, like they can see the flames of deep, burning shame licking up and down his body. 

It had been a solid two weeks since he’d arrived home from school, and a solid two weeks that he hadn’t been able to think about anything other than Rhett. 

His large hands that felt amazing running down the sides of Link’s body, his bright green eyes that flashed when he laughed at Link’s jokes. His long legs that splayed over the couch and looked so good with Link’s own legs thrown over them, the shuddering gasp as he came-

Link had spent every night since in a feverish haze, feeling Rhett's large hands on his skin like they were burned there. He'd traced over the phantom feeling with his own hands, stroking down his sides and gripping his cock to furiously jerk himself off until he came with a muffled shout into his pillow. It wasn't until after, when the sweat was cooling on his brow and his come drying on his stomach that the searing shame would come screaming back to rob him of his gentle afterglow.

It was never enough though, never enough to keep his thoughts from straying back to Rhett.

But his brain wouldn’t cooperate. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried.

Despite Links best efforts, he hadn’t seen Rhett since the night that, well, since all that happened. Rhett had somehow miraculously managed to avoid Link successfully for the next three days until they left for break. He had stayed up way later than he’d ought to, had blown off plans and skipped meals, hoping to catch his roommate coming back to the dorm for something, anything.

But as fate would have it, he hadn’t caught a glimpse of Rhett since he’d watched him walk out of their living room, come still cooling in his jeans and his sweat slicked hair still splayed out on the carpet. He’d packed up his things in silence the last night of the semester, leaving slowly and locking the door with an awful air of finality before driving home.

His mother caught on instantly, pinching his face when he’d arrived on her doorstep.

“ _What’s the matter baby? You’re home now! Why do you look so sad?”_

He hadn’t had the heart to tell her, and instead had suffered silently through all the family festivities, pretending he wasn’t about to spontaneously combust at the slightest notice. He felt...dirty, almost. Like everyone could see the imprints of Rhett’s hands where they’d branded themselves onto his skin and stayed there like a glowing neon sign. And he couldn’t do anything to shake it. He’s probably running up his parent's water bill with all the cold showers he’s had.

It finally came to a head when they’d all returned from Christmas Eve mass. The rest of his family fucking off to do other things, and it just left Link and his mother in the heat of the kitchen, the smell of cookies baking in the air.

“Now what’s gotten into you? This is the quietest you’ve been in years.” His mother drawled out to him, sitting across from him at the kitchen table with her face in her hands. “What’s troublin’ ya, baby?”

He doesn’t know how to answer her. He can’t possibly tell her what he did, how he feels. This is another boy, and he can’t handle how his mother's face would pinch up at the thought of him like that. He settles on the easiest paraphrasing he can think of.

“It’s, uh- it’s my roommate momma,” Link pushes out, one hand in his shaggy hair and the other clenched into a fist on the table. 

“What about him.” His mother’s eyes narrow slightly, and Link loves her for her protectiveness.

“He’s, uh, he’s just kind of a jerk.” He finally settles on, moving both hands beneath the table so his mother doesn’t catch how they’re trembling. “Like I barely talk to him and he still manages to be all kinds'a rude.”

“Rude? Whatcha’ mean?” Her nose wrinkles in concern.

“He’s just, I dunno, he’s rude! He’s always makin' a mess, he makes fun a’ me, he sleeps late. He just bugs me momma,” Link finally spits out, feeling childish for complaining but unable to stop talking. “Like, what's his deal, yanno?”

His mother clicks her tongue and doesn’t quite roll her eyes, but comes pretty close. “Well bless his heart, his parents prolly’ don’t do a good job a listening’ to ‘im.”

“Wha?” Link’s jaw dropped in indignation. She’s taking his side?

"Oh come on baby, boy your age, looking for all the wrong types of attention, chances are he ain't used to anyone lookin at him or listening to anything he has to say." She shakes her head. " Now don't you go givin' it back ta him baby, 'm sure he's got enough to worry about."

"I try not to, mama." Link sighs. His fingers tingle with how hard he's clutching them together under the table. "He's great when he’s not pushin ma buttons. He's real smart, and funny as heck, I really like him otherwise."

Link is too caught up to realize the slow smile spreading across his face, and doesn’t think to watch the way his mother's eyebrows contract slightly as she watches him talk.

“Well now,” she cut him off, her tone much more sharp and the hands clasped beneath her chin tighter. “I’m glad ya like him, baby, but just be nice, and space is always good. Not everyone is meant to be a friend.”

Well that just brought Link back to earth faster than all hell.

He can see the judgement and tightness in his mother's posture, and he bites his lower lip to cut himself off, shame flooding him once again. “Yeah, you’re right mama.” His voice sounds small.

That brings a smile to his mother's face, her posture relaxing in thinly veiled relief. It makes the weight sitting on Link’s chest that much heavier.

It hasn’t gotten any lighter by the time he gets back to school. It’s snowing gently when he gets back to the campus. He doesn’t want to go back to his room yet, doesn’t want to face whatever is or isn’t waiting there for him and he finds himself wandering aimlessly, letting the snow wet his hair but the nerves thrumming through him are enough to distract from the cold.

The dorm is dark when Link finally arrives back, the sun long set and the tips of his fingers numb. It feels like a lifetime since he’s been there and he's almost surprised there isn't a layer of dust on everything. It looks much like he left it a month and a half ago. He notices with a certain amount of disappointment that Rhett hasn't arrived yet, the small space still immaculate from Link frantically stress cleaning for two straight days before the break.

He stands there in the doorway, keys still stupidly in his hand and clutching his bag with the other for longer than he can manage to remember. He's gripped with the fear that Rhett would never return, had managed to get a room switch and would be reduced to nothing but a memory and an awkward moment if they ever passed each other on campus and tried their hardest to ignore each other.

Link knows he couldn’t handle that, couldn’t be able to stomach seeing Rhett walk past him with those piercing green eyes cast down to the floor and breeze by like he wasn't the reason Link has felt like he's been on fire for the last five months. Couldn’t even imagine if he was cursed to have Rhett in one of his classes for the final stretch of his academic career and be reduced to just another face in the auditorium.

He can’t take it anymore and finally walks in and shuts the door behind him, dropping his bag and heading into their shared room. It’s just as empty as the rest of the place, Rhett’s stripped mattress mocking him where it sits. 

He honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself once he gets inside. He wants to unpack, to settle back in, but for some reason his skin itches and he can’t bring himself to focus hard enough to fold his clothes back into the drawers. 

He chooses instead to pace, abandoning his bags on the floor. He circles the gross couch in the living room numerous times, not even watching as the sun sets behind the blinds. 

He can’t sit still, can’t keep his hands from trembling as the hours tick by, and he feels his nerves hit deeper and deeper. He’s sweating, dripping through his eyes and his bangs growing damp as he walks and walks. He needs Rhett to get here, even if it’s to pick up anything he’s left behind if he’s chosen another roommate to finish his year with. Link just needs to see him, just needs to stare at his handsome face and say...say what exactly he hadn’t managed to dream up as of yet. He gets sweaty and tongue tied whenever he imagines what he might even say once Rhett gets here, if he ever gets here.

Eventually, once it’s dark, he gets tired enough to flop onto the couch, flinging a hand over his eyes to block out the bright fluorescent light from the kitchen and sighing heavily. He’s being stupid, he comes to realize. All of this is ridiculous. 

His carefully constructed speech of reasoning and pleas dies in his head.

Rhett’s not coming back. Of course he isn’t. People experiment all the time in college, don't they? That’s all this was, Rhett getting something out of his system and Link is just sitting here, sweaty and shaking over something that didn’t even, didn’t even matter to Rhett.

_ You’re so stupid _ .

Link’s eyes sting with an angry tear that he vehemently wills not to fall. He refuses to cry, that would only make this worse. He hadn’t cried over Rhett yet, and this wouldn’t be what breaks him. 

There’s a migraine flirting with the back of his forehead, and Link lets his eyes drift shut, counting his breaths carefully to soothe the burning rage coloring his chest and neck. 

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

The key in the door wakes Link up.

He’s still disoriented when he peeks over the edge of the couch and sees Rhett stumbling in, a tall and faceless shadow in the dark of the room. Rhett moves erratically, dropping the duffel bag slung over his shoulder and slamming the door. 

Link sits up further, shaking the last dredges of sleep from his eyes even as his heart leaps into his throat and a surge of adrenaline makes his legs go numb.

_He came back_.

“Hey man,” he tries cautiously, voice too small for his liking and his hands clutching the leather of the couch where they landed.

Rhett doesn’t even seem to hear him, leaning back against the door and exhaling heavily. His eyes are wide and unfocused, his hands coming up to run through his curls. Link has never seen him so unbalanced, and it sends a shock of concern through him as he stands. He shakily makes his way around the couch, one hand outstretched towards Rhett like he's approaching a wild animal. It almost feels like it, the way Rhett looks so shaken. 

Link finally finds his voice. "Rhett?" He breathes out, inching closer, hand still reaching for him. Rhett turns his head, staring down Link with panicked green eyes that at this distance Link can now see are wet, glistening with unshed tears and Link's heart kicks into overdrive, pounding hard in his chest. He aches with the urge to go to him, to wrap the larger boy in his arms and stop whatever it is that is making him look at Link with what looks like fear in his eyes. 

There's still snow melting in Rhett's hair. 

He takes another step closer, almost into Rhett’s space now. “Rhett, c’mon man, yer freakin’ me out here-“

Rhett animates back to life at that. His eyes shift towards Link and he straightens up against the door, hands coming up to rub sweaty palms against his thighs. 

“Rhett?” Link’s voice sounds fuzzy to his own ears, he doesn’t even make the conscious decision to speak. 

And then the silence exploded, sound rushing back to smack Link in the face as Rhett moves, rushing up to Link faster than he can focus on.

Link barely has a second to respond, to get a grip with what's happening when Rhett attacks him. He grasps the collar of Link’s sweatshirt and walks him backwards, eyes deep and intense and Link can’t look away until he feels the wall slam into his back. The air huffs out of him in a gasp and Rhett stills, breath coming hot and wet into his throat.

Link is too stunned to move, and stays exactly where he is, hands flown up to hover around the vicinity of Rhett’s broad shoulders and face turned towards the ceiling. He doesn’t know what to do, Rhett is braced against him, hands clamped tight and face right against Link's cheek. 

He forces his face back, dragging the back of his head down and feeling his hair catch against the stuccoed wall as he brings his face below Rhett’s nose. He feels safer here, lower than Rhett, where he can see his entire face-

-Rhett’s eyes burn into his, wide with hunger and fear in the same measure, mouth open to mirror the way Link’s lips part-

-Link doesn’t catch who moves first. He’s staring at the place near the collar of Rhett’s shirt where it dips into his clavicle, and the next second Rhett’s hauling him up to the balls of his feet and kissing him like this is Rhett’s very last day on this earth. It’s rough and messy, too shaky and nervous to be anything other than an honest display of affection. 

The rest comes from Rhett’s hands, the way his massive palms soften to curl around the back of his skull. His fingers are wide, circling his head, like Rhett wants to touch all of him at once. Rhett holds him with an ugly air of desperation, like this is the last chance he has.

He can’t think, can barely make his mouth move against Rhett’s in a searing kiss that he can barely bring himself to participate in, much less make a sound to encourage Rhett to keep going even as Rhett grasps the sides of his face and sucks on Link’s lower lip. Link feels like he's honest to God about to die; letting the feeling of Rhett shoving his tongue to taste the back of Link’s teeth take over him.

Link finds the strength, deep within himself to kiss back, and Rhett lets out a low groan that sounds like relief and kisses Link with the fervor of a dying man, like he was suffocating and Link was the only source of oxygen he could manage to get.

And well, _fuck_ , this is all Link could really hope for. Shaky hands coming up to land on Rhett’s thick wrists to ground himself, to stop feeling like he’s going to float away. Rhett's pulse flutters like a trapped hummingbird beneath his fingertips.

Rhett catches him when Link's knees buckle, his hands sliding down to grab at Link’s ass and tugging him up against his solid body like he weighed nothing, supporting him as he kisses Link to the very brink of passing out.

It makes the room spin and Link’s hips start grinding against Rhett’s thigh involuntarily as the heat begins to flare up in his belly. He's been hard since Rhett first slammed him into the wall. Rhett’s mouth doesn’t slow, still kissing Link slow and deep even as Link feels his feet leave the floor.

He spins, too caught up in the pull of Rhett’s mouth against his own and Rhett’s hands grabbing at him until he feels the sharp pain of his nails digging into the meat of his hip bones. He wraps his legs around Rhett’s waist when he feels Rhett tug him off the wall. They’re going somewhere. He can feel Rhett walking and then it’s like he’s falling and then it’s the scratchy carpet beneath his back all over again when Rhett tugs off his mouth.

Time pauses for half a second and Rhett stares down at him from where he hovers on his hands and knees bracketing Link's body. His eyes are blown, a tiny ring of green shining down at him. He looks awestruck, his mouth hanging open and swollen and pink and wet with saliva.

_Link’s saliva_.

And his throat works when he swallows. Link knows he looks just as wrecked, just as fucked up and he prays he isn’t pushing his luck when he reaches a shaky hand up to wind into the curls at the nape of Rhett’s head and tugs it to pull him down to place a ghost of a kiss along Rhett's lower lip. 

It’s a flurry of frantic movement then, and Link barely registers Rhett tugging off his shirt and fumbling for his belt. He can’t get his hands to catch up, still fluttering around Rhett’s face, tugging on his hair or running through the coarse hair on his face. Rhett doesn’t seem to mind or notice, steadfastly determined to get Link as naked as possible beneath him.

Rhett doesn’t speak, just continues to kiss Link senseless, only pausing to press wet open mouthed kisses along his throat and collarbones and giving Link a chance to gasp up at the ceiling dazedly.

It’s not until Rhett rears up, straddling Link’s hips and tugging the damp sweater over his head and Link’s mouth goes dry at the sudden expanse of skin in front of him. Rhett is absolutely gorgeous, slim and toned with the barest hint of muscle in his solid midsection. The freckles that dot along his chest and up around his shoulders make Link’s fingertips itch.

Rhett’s hands drop to his jeans then, unbuckling the cheap belt on his hips and the floor really drops then, the entire world shifting off its axis and Link’s jaw drops, the metallic taste of panic coating his throat as he realizes where this was going.

It must have shown on his face, how fucking terrified he was in that moment because Rhett pauses. He stares down at Link, face still shadowed in the half light and his hands still on his open belt.

Then one bushy eyebrow quirks up.

It’s a minute movement, almost imperceptible, but it warms Link all the same. Rhett’s asking for permission. Again. Just like the last time.

_Do you want it?_

It makes Link feel absurdly better, feeling the ground solidify into something more like stone rather than quicksand. 

He nods, all pretense of fear fleeing with the sight of that facial tic.

Rhett remains still for another second, expression frozen, like he’s giving Link an out, another chance to change his mind.

The shadow of actual sex is looming tall and frightening at the forefront of Link’s mind. He’s a virgin, and had every plan to be until he was married by the church like the good boy he was raised as.

On the dirty carpet of a gross dorm room he didn’t even want beneath another boy wasn’t how Link saw it happening, but as he throbs in his jeans under the heat of Rhett’s body, he’s never wanted anything more.

Rhett hasn’t moved, still looking down at him with his jaw clenched.

_I’m not gonna make you do anything_

Link wants it. So he speaks.

“Yes.”

It doesn’t sound like Link’s voice to him, but he feels it drag out of his larynx like sandpaper. 

Rhett remains still for a heartbeat more, then descends, like a fallen angel to lay claim to all of Link's land when he falls, graceless and sweaty against Link’s torso. His bare skin catches along Link’s chest hair. It's rough, fast, and clumsy. The carpet is cold and rubs a screaming rash on his shoulder blades. He's naked already when Rhett yanks his own boxers down, shoved hastily to his knees.

It moves so quickly, all of it, from Rhett pulling a bottle of lube from somewhere in his jeans to watching him roll on the condom.

There isn't enough light to see Rhett's dick, something Link nearly protests but then Rhett is back, crawling on him and shoving his knees apart to open Link up to him. Rhett's thighs come under his, and he lets his legs splay open. Rhett positions himself giant Link's body, pausing for a split second before moving. 

Link throws his head back in a silent scream when Rhett pushes into his body. He shoves his fist into his mouth and bits down hard, feeling the muscles in his throat strain with the effort to not wail. HIs eyes are screwed tight, bright spots dancing in his vision as pain flares through his body. He jerks instinctively, body twitching away from it and Rhett clams his hands down on his hips, holding him still and leaning down to swallow the whimper the movement startles out of Link.

“Shhhh, shhh, relax.” They're the very first words Rhett has spoken this entire time, and they come out low and harsh, almost like Rhett is just as fucked up as Link feels. “Don’t try and move, just relax, it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.”

Rhett isn't wrong, and the feeling of him sliding deeper into Link until their bodies are flush is torture, and Link doesn't think to stop the tears that cut tracks down the sides of his face. Rhett is splitting him open, tearing him in half and it hurts like nothing ever has. He feels the skin of his palms break where his hands are curled into fists on the sides of his head. His head falls, eyes screwed shut as he squeezes Rhett with his thighs.

He knows he looks pathetic, flushed and trembling and probably scared shitless and he chances a look up.

A muscle in Rhett’s cheek jumps when their eyes meet. Rhett's expression is stormy, green eyes cloudy and mouth clamped tight.

Something in Link's chest shatters, he thinks it might be his heart. 

They lay there staring at each other long enough for the burn to go from intolerable to manageable. Rhett holds himself over Link on his elbows, body trembling slightly as he watches Link. Link lets his eyes drift open when Rhett pulses inside him. He meets Rhett's eyes and nods, need flooding back to him as his flaccid cock twitches back to life.

It's far gentler than Link was anticipating. Rhett cradles his head to his chest and breathes heavily into his throat and Link clutches at the rippling muscles of Rhett's shoulders. He takes him slowly, moving his hips in clumsy stutters that send sparks up and down Link's spine. The only sounds Link can register is the broken gasping sound getting fucked out of him and the low, tortured groans that are the only sound Rhett is apparently capable of. 

Link's head falls back against the floor. Rhett chases him down, pressing their foreheads together. His thrusts speed up and he breathes heavily through an open mouth against Link's lips. The angle changes and a spark of something white hot sends Link jolting, head shooting up and a cry shocked out of him. Rhett follows, nuzzling the side of his face.

"Are you okay?" The words land hot and wet into Link's hairline. Link nods, ducking down to catch Rhett's mouth in a kiss as he chases that feeling. 

He catches it a lifetime later, the buildup finally spilling over as his orgasm begins to build, he's climbing higher and higher and breaks the kiss.

"Rhett, Rhett I'm gonna, I'm gonna come Rhett-"

"Fuck," Rhett curses and rears up, letting Link fall back onto the carpet. He shoves his thighs further under Link's body, spreading him wider and his hands fly to his hips, gripping tight enough that he can feel the bones grind together and begins to pound into Link, really giving it to him.

_ I'm going to die. _

Link loses all coherent thought as he finally comes, the scream building in his chest shattering the cold air in the room and he's barely aware of hearing Rhett come when the room fades out.

* * *

He's still naked when he wakes up.

The blanket from the couch is haphazardly thrown over him, leaving one of his legs exposed and his toes numb. The heater creaks loudly as it flips back on.

Rhett is gone. 

Link's first instinct to scream, to cry out in rage and anguish that Rhett pulled this shit again. He doesn't, just stands up shakily and nearly falls over. His legs are jelly, wobbly and unstable, and it feels like his hips have been shoved out of their sockets. He stumbles but catches the counter, hitching the blanket tighter around him. He can’t see his clothes, and he starts to head to the bedroom when he hears it.

Rhett’s snoring.

It’s muffled, like Rhett fell asleep with his face smashed against his pillow. And the knowledge that Rhett went to bed and is sleeping peacefully in his room while he left Link alone and naked in the dark living room hurts more than the ache in his body. 

He can’t do it. He can’t go in there.

Instead he finds himself outside, on the little excuse for a balcony they have just outside the back door. Link's never been out here, always avoided it because they were on the third floor and, quite frankly, he didn’t trust the structural integrity. 

It’s not snowing anymore. It’s dark and cloudy and Link just stands there, shivering slightly in the wind and staring up at the flat grey concrete slab that hangs over the campus.

And as much as he didn’t want to, as hard as he tried, and boy did he try, Link couldn’t fight it. He sunk down against the cheap wood of the back door and buried his face in his knees. He clasped his shaking hands together, and let the tears that had been building since before his orgasm fall. He tried to keep his choking cries as quiet as he could, even now thinking of Rhett’s comfort above his own and sobbed into his hands. 

He can’t believe this is how it happened. He’s lost his virginity and every dream of cuddling close with that special person has evaporated as fast as Rhett escaped into the bedroom. Link shifts, sliding down to sit and wincing at the pain in his backside that shoots up his spine. It’s a throbbing reminder along with the chill of the winter air blowing Link's hair out of his face and it just makes him cry harder. 

He never wanted it like this, quick and impersonal. He felt used, cheap and dirty and he wants to claw his own skin off. Yet at the same time, he wants to never shower so he can remember every touch of Rhett’s fingertips on his skin. They tingle on his hips, and Link wants them to bruise, wants to wake up in the morning and see the physical evidence of Rhett’s hands on him and the storm of mixed emotions roaring inside of him sound strangled in the cries that leave his throat.

Every iota of his very being is crying for him to go inside, to find Rhett and curl into his side and chase the shakes that have taken over his limbs away with Rhett’s body heat. And he desperately wants to listen, wants to find the safe embrace he’d barely come to know and fall asleep within it. 

But something ugly whispers behind his ear-

_ He doesn’t even like you. _

_ Just an easy lay who's willing to put out. _

_ If he cared about you you wouldn’t be crying alone while he sleeps off his orgasm. _

_ He doesn’t care. _

Link is filled with a rush of panic when the thought of the morning dawns on him. What the fuck is he supposed to do tomorrow? What if Rhett avoids him again? What if he makes fun of him for how readily he was willing? What if he doesn’t mention it at all? And just acts like Link was nothing, just a blip in his radar, just a warm body to make him feel better for the moment, nothing more.

He doesn't want to dwell on the ever growing surge of panic at the thought that he's done something irreparably stupid and fallen for Rhett. Not just some stupid crush, but he'd just given everything he had to this boy, this boy who didn't even stick around to make sure he was alright afterwards. 

The shame was almost too much to handle, threatening to shove Link over the edge into a full fledged breakdown. He'd always been married to the idea of saving himself, of being pure and holy for the person he'd one day promise himself to. Now he feels completely worthless, totally and utterly alone. He's never going to find anyone now, and he's going to die alone in complete, deafening silence-

He cries until he can't anymore, until he feels like his body simply has no more to give, fighting to drag air into his lungs and coughing roughly. His breath comes out choppy and harsh as he tries to calm the fuck down, hearing how wrecked he sounds to his own ears.

He’s already worn out from his mother words when he left that morning-

_-just keep ya head down, baby, no boys worth ruin in’ ya name over-_

-and too high strung to even deal with the way his lungs can’t even draw breath or the way his heart is beating out of his chest. He stands up and wrings his hands before wiping them along his sweats. He can’t, he fucking can’t deal with all this and sitting outside alone and crying feels so pathetic it almost makes him start to cry again. He doesn’t, and with that, he opens the door back into the dorm. 

As soon as he’s inside, with the door shut quietly behind him, the quiet of the room swallows him up and he hears his breathing speed up, nerves coming back up and panic surging up around him and he has to swallow several times to shut down the sobs that want to come back up his throat. He can’t afford it, not when Rhett is already snoring loudly. 

The need to let Rhett sleep even whilst he’s freaking the fuck out, even as his face burns with shame at the thought, is so much stronger than the sob that’s tearing out of his throat that Link stays silent. He creeps through the living room, winding between the couch and the coffee table to inch along the hall.

He stops and gathers his clothes from the floor, unable to look at them or put them back on.

His eyes have adjusted by then, and he can see the vague and blurry outline of the bunk bed when he slides into the room. Rhett’s snores are louder now, and Link doesn’t even bother with them as drops his clothes, too strung out to bother folding them and leaving them on the floor where they fall-

_-Rhett's gonna have an aneurysm when he sees that, after how Link harps on him to not be so messy-_

-before climbing up to his bed.

It’s a goddamn miracle that he makes it up to curl into his pillow with the comforter tugged up to his chest, and he thanks whatever god is up there that the tears have at the very least stopped when he finally falls asleep, Rhett’s obnoxious snoring ringing in his ears.

* * *

Link wakes with an ugly start the next morning, gasping heavily and tangled up in his sheets, the last of his nightmare fading from his mind even as his heart rate fought to go back down to normal. He can still hear Rhett's voice from his dream, can still picture his beautiful face twisted into an ugly sneer as he called Link things that made Link want to cry again.

He doesn't though, his face still feels swollen and tight after how hard he cried last night. The night comes back to him in waves and he winces, twisting to try and sit up and feeling the twang of pain run up his spine, followed quickly by the hot and heady combination of shame and guilt that catch up to it. 

The room is barely lit in the dim light that creeps in through the crooked blinds. It’s far too early for him to be awake, but he’s too nervous to roll over to look at Rhett’s beside clock to check just how early it is. Instead he lays back down as slowly as he can, trying not to make the bed squeak and wake up Rhett.

It’s then, once his head hits the pillow that he realizes that he can’t hear Rhett snoring, something that is completely out of place at this time in the morning and Link freezes, ice flooding him as he realizes Rhett’s already awake.

The smell of coffee wafts up to Link from the hallway. Link’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and he rolls over to check the time. 

_5:26_

_Why the fuck is he up?_

The curiosity wins over the desire to sleep for the rest of his life and Link climbs down, landing on the floor with tiptoes and trying his hardest to not make any noise. 

He gets dressed, refusing to dwell on why he’s still naked.

The lights are all on once he gets to the living room, and Rhett’s hunched over the microwave, watching something as it heats up while the coffee maker dribbles away happily on the counter behind him. Rhett makes no motion to let Link know he’s heard him enter the room.

Link wants to go up and wrap his arms around his broad back, wants to press a kiss to his shoulder and hear the sigh he knows Rhett can make. He wants Rhett to turn and catch him in his arms and smile, and kiss his forehead and whisper that he’s so happy to see him, ask him how he slept and if he’s feeling alright-

Rhett turns then, dropping Link’s delirious train of thought. 

And he looks like microwaved hell, curls disheveled and eyes sunken and dark. They settle somewhere around the vicinity of Link’s left ear, and Rhett gives him a tired smile.

“Didn’t mean time wake ya,” he said, throat rough and dry.

Link is stunned into silence for a beat, trying to gage where Rhett’s going with this. “You didn’t, weird dream.”

Rhett nods, flinching slightly when the microwave dings loudly behind him. He makes no move to retrieve whatever was warming up.

“When did ya get here? I barely remember the bus ride,” Rhett says slowly, turning to get two mugs from the cupboard behind him.

_What the ever loving fuck_?

“Uh.” Link moves closer, dread creeping up his throat. “Early, like seven ish.” He waits, chewing on his next words before spitting them out. “I was here when you got here.”

Rhett turns to look over his shoulder, eyebrows raised. “Yeah? Shit I’m sorry dude.” He sets the mugs down and pours coffee into both of them, adding too much sugar and milk to one before sliding it over to the edge of the counter. “I was so fucked up yesterday, I don’t even remember.”

The floor opens up and swallows Link up, and he falls. He falls through a never ending sea of black and he falls fast and his stomach leaps into his throat, like he’s just gone down the first drop of a dollar coaster.

_He was drunk._

“Was I annoying or anything?” Rhett asks sheepishly, a grimace twisting his mouth as he sips his coffee.

Now Link really wants to cry. He can’t fucking believe it. The biggest thing that’s ever happened to him and it’s completely wiped from Rhett’s memory. It wouldn’t hurt so much, it honestly wouldn’t, if Link wasn’t so completely enamored with everything about Rhett, and he has to swallow the lump of ice that has taken up residence in his throat.

There’s two ways he can play this. He can yell, he can cry and scream and get on his fucking knees and beg Rhett to touch him again to remember what he felt like beneath his hands. He could rush up and kiss him and tell him it’s fine, it’s all fine because he feels the same fire singing beneath his skin too and yes, yes he wants him. In which Rhett could react one of two ways. He could kiss Link back. He could kiss him back and take him to bed, or he could laugh at him and deny the entire thing.

Or Link can play along. Let Rhett keep last night as a black splotch on his memory and play innocent, never bring it up and just go on like usual.

He’s still standing there, steaming mug in front of him with his jaw on the floor.

Rhett blinks sluggishly, seemingly content with waiting for Link’s answer.

“Nah,” Link hears himself say and he wants to slap himself. “You were fine, just came in and went to bed.

_God just kill me now._

Rhett nods, finally turning to get whatever was in the microwave out. “Good. I didn’t wanna be annoying or anything. I’m a bit reckless when I’m drunk.”

_No fucking kidding._

“No problem,” Link breathes out, feet still nailed to the floor.

_It’s like being crucified._

“I’m gonna go sleep off this hangover before my first class,” Rhett says, picking up his coffee and gesturing towards Link with what he took out of the microwave.

It’s a McMuffin.

“There’s one for you in the fridge if you want. I’ll see ya later,” Rhett mumbles before shuffling back to the room, giving Link a wide berth and not looking back when he disappears down the hall.

Link stands there staring at the coffee until the steam stops swirling around the rim and the sun starts to peek through the blinds. He stands there until he’s got twenty minutes to get to his first class and he leaves the mug there.

It’s snowing again this morning.

Link doesn’t eat the sandwich.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiii
> 
> So this chapters already done (and yes it stops being so ridiculously sad) it was just WAYYYY too long so it’s not gonna take another year and a half to come out.
> 
> I am also sorry this chapter did take so long, my mental health hasn’t been great and quarantine is really kicking my ass.
> 
> But, as always, the sun continues to rise and fall simply because out_of_nowhere exists, so if you speak to them today, thank them for existing and causing the sunrise.


	4. Spring, Part 2

The day passes in a haze.

There’s snow in his hair, there’s loud wind in his ear and a faceless blur of classmates he doesn’t care about as Link wanders through his first day of classes. He feels as though he should care more, like he probably should have been paying attention to what his professors are saying, what his classmates say to him. He doesn’t, and floats on in a foggy haze until the end of his day until he finds himself back on the path to his dorm room, watching his feet carve paths into the freshly fallen snow.

He doesn’t want to go back to the dorms, and as familiar as the foreboding feeling is, it’s particularly heavy at the moment. He doesn’t yet know Rhett’s schedule this semester and doesn’t know if he’s there. And where normally he’d be dying to see the other boy, today he’s caught with trepidation.

Rhett said he didn’t remember. Link is caught between a weird mistrust of not believing him and the ugly pain of knowing it could be true. He honestly can’t decide which is worse-if Rhett remembers fucking him last night, and is choosing not to say anything, or if he really was too drunk. Link can’t handle it, can’t handle either of these options but before he can manage to get a grip he’s staring at the door of his tiny apartment.

He could go inside and face whatever God decided to put is his path. Or, similarly, he could stay there all night, sleep on the floor and wake up sticky and disoriented and completely lost in class tomorrow.

It’s really fucked up that right now the latter is genuinely the more appealing option.

He’s still standing outside the dorm room, bouncing on the balls of his feet when he feels the hand land on his shoulder and he startles, letting out an undignified yelp and swiveling around to see who’s attacking him.

He comes face to face with Rhett, taking several steps back with his hands held up in surrender in front of him. "Hey, Link." A smile graces Rhett's face that doesn't look strained or forced. He just looks tired, heavy bags beneath his eyes. "You good?”

Link blinks twice, still lost on how the ever loving fuck Rhett can look so damn unaffected but he doesn't want to look like a spaz, so he nods. His heart has leapt into his throat and he can taste blood where he’s bitten his tongue. The itch in his fingers is back and he wants to reach up and fix the way Rhett’s curls are flopping onto his forehead.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm all good." He even manages a smile.

Rhett reaches out and unlocks the door for him, a wrinkle of concern blooming between his bushy eyebrows. "Did'ja forget yer key?"

"Nah," Link swallows as he watches the door swing open, still refusing to meet Rhett's eyes and flustered to all hell. "Just thinking is all."

Rhett lets out a chuckle and leans back, swinging his arms in an over exaggerated gesture to welcome Link into the room. "It's only the first day of classes huh? Don't wear yerself out."

Link rolls his eyes and lets himself be ushered into his dorm, Rhett shutting the door gently behind him.

"I'm so very sorry some of us care about our academic future." Link huffs, dropping his bag onto the couch.

Rhett has the audacity to laugh at this, mouth open and head tilted back. "Comp Sci 402 ain't the beginning and end of all things, Link."

"Well it's the start and end of my goddamn senior year, some people wanna graduate on time." Link is already annoyed, and feels no shame in the way his voice cracks over the syllables as he snaps at Rhett. Why is Rhett laughing? Why is he being so, fucking normal?

"And some of us," Rhett says, just as infuriatingly chill as he always is, casual hand coming up to run through his curls, "know that school work isn't the most important thing in the world."

Link hates how engaging he is, how captivating the way he speaks is, and he finds himself grinning, staring over the couch to watch as Rhett leans boyishly against the counter. "And what exactly," Link hears himself drawl out as he comes around to mirror Rhett’s pose, "is the most important thing in the world?" He's half hard in his jeans. just from watching Rhett chuckle and move through their living space. He hates that he still has that effect on him.

He also hates how he’s not mad at Rhett anymore.

_Jesus Christ, your conviction is shit. He’s here one fucking minute and you’re already ready to let him one night stand you again._

“Existing, and Wendy’s,” Rhett says with a flair, dropping his bag and reaching into it. He pulls out a bag of fast food and grins like a maniac. “I gotcha dinner man!” 

Link is so stunned by this, all he can manage to do is stare blankly and blink a few times. Rhett looks so happy Link can’t even think of an argument against him. 

Link wants to scream, he wants to shake the other boy and demand what the actual fuck is going through his head. 

He doesn’t, not wanting to ruin the weird good mood Rhett’s in. Instead he shrugs, walking backwards sitting heavily on the couch. “Existing fuckin’ blows sometimes, man. But I can eat.”

Rhett smiles, and if Link’s totally honest there’s a shine of relief in his face as he drops his bag with a thunk on the counter. “Hell yeah.” He lopes around the table to land on the couch beside Link, looking as at ease as ever. “Double baconator?”

Link is still wary, and he takes the wrapped sandwich with a hand that did not shake, thank y’all very much. “How’s the hangover?” he asks nervously.

“Oh it’s gone,” Rhett says around a mouthful of fries. “Haven’t I told you? I’m invincible. Never gonna die.”

Link snorts unwittingly, shaking his head. “Right.”

So they eat in a shaky camaraderie that grows easier the longer they sit there. At some point, Rhett turns on their television and they sit though some program Link doesn’t pay attention to. Its annoyingly easy, for Link to relax and talk to Rhett like his insides aren’t exploding.

It’s so easy he doesn’t even have time to stop and realize that this is the friendliest Rhett has ever acted towards him. Even though they’ve fucked once and kissed multiple times, Rhett has never once treated him like he enjoyed his company. And now here he was, laughing and smiling at Link like they’ve been friends for years.

It’s strange enough to set off alarm bells in Link’s head, but they’re not loud enough to make him put a stop to the whole charade. Turns out he can’t get enough of it. 

It’s way too late, Link really should have started his homework hours ago, but had been enjoying listening to Rhett talk so much that dinner had run on until the sun set outside of the window. Rhett was unlike anyone Link had ever encountered. His dark and twisted sense of humor tugged shrill and surprised giggles out of Link, and the wry grin he got in response to each laugh was enough to knock the rest of the air from Link’s lungs.

He’s also distracting as hell. Link hasn't gotten any of his homework done, he's too busy watching Rhett. He’s still irritatingly handsome, lounging against the other arm of the couch across from Link, air drumming with two of Link’s spare pencils and pontificating some nonsense in an over exaggerated mimicry of his southern drawl. 

"And that's on that, I tell you what." Rhett drags the last word out and smiles softly when Link giggles.

"Where's that accent from?" Link asks.

"Same place I'm from," Rhett answers in the same voice. "Georgia."

"Yer from Georgia? Whatcha doin down here?" 

“Gettin’ a higher fuckin education.” Rhett says, eyes darkening slightly, pencils stilling on his lap. “Same thing everyone here’s doin.”

Link chewed on his lip, debating asking the next question. “Not happy ‘bout it?”

For a second, Link thinks he’s completely ruined it. Rhett turns and stares at him with razor sharp green eyes, mouth pressed into a tight line. The next ten seconds take an eternity to pass when finally, finally, Rhett sighs, releasing Link from his gaze and cracking his neck.

“M gonna go to bed,” Rhett finally mumbles, standing and leaning back so Link can hear the cracks up his spine as he stretches. “Don’t stay up too late, it’s not good fer ya.”

It throws Link for such a loop he doesn’t manage an answer until Rhett’s already moving around the back of the couch to head back to the room. He’s mildly panicking, worried he’d pissed Rhett off somehow and is weirdly desperate to fix it. “You alright?”

Rhett turns back with a tight smile and guarded eyes. “Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just… Didn’t sleep well, yanno? Got up too early. Night.”

Link let’s him go, waiting until he’s ducked under the doorframe and out of sight before letting out a gasp of relief and dropping his head into his hands. 

_What the actual fuck was all that?_

Without the magnetic charisma of Rhett clouding his thought process, Link could actually sit and let the evening wash over him and is still struck with how completely bizarre it all was. What was Rhett doing? Link had to admit to himself now that Rhett must be telling the truth, that he didn’t remember what they’d done the night before-

_That fucking hurts more than he’d like to admit._

-But it didn’t explain this, how Rhett had done a complete and total 180 and had suddenly decided that he and Link were allowed to be friends or something. What the fuck had happened for him to decide to put in the effort now?

There’s a heavy layer of shame beneath the confusion and it makes Link want to cry. He’s not a psychology major but he knows enough to know that he shouldn’t, by any means, still feel the way he does for Rhett. Shouldn’t still be drawn to him and want him as badly as he does. It’s so much worse now. Link had been desperately attracted to him when he was acting like an asshole but now-

_Now_

Now that he’s sweet, and friendly, and is talking to Link like he wants to talk to him. Like he actually enjoys Link’s company. 

Link should hate him. Should have been the one to demand another roommate, should be screaming his broken heart in Rhett’s face so he’d hear him, so he’d listen. 

It makes him feel lower than he thought possible to realize that he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to rock the boat at all. If anything, the masochistic part of him is overjoyed, still reeling from the time he’s spent with Rhett and is so giddy over it that it’s stupid. It’s all so very stupid.

He gives up on his homework. It’s not even due for another two weeks anyways.

* * *

January slips by in a blink.

Link doesn’t startle when Rhett speaks to him anymore. He’s greeted each morning with an endearingly sleepy smile and a cup of coffee. Trepidation is still heavy in the air, but it doesn’t suffocate him anymore.

The ache of what happened a month earlier is fading. 

Link is nearly swallowed by his anxiety over his coursework. Rhett breezes through it. Link had never stopped and realized how unflinchingly smart Rhett is.

Rhett makes him laugh when he’s about to cry. He thanks Rhett by doing his homework in the living room when Rhett asks.

Rhett plays the guitar softly. Link sings along and his cheeks ache with the grin that comes when Rhett compliments his singing.

_They’re becoming friends_.

They buy fast food for each other every other day, like an unofficial schedule. They eat on opposite ends of the couch and don’t pay attention to the television in favor of speaking to each other. 

It’s still surface stuff, they don’t delve too deep or press each other for information they’re not willing to give. They laugh a lot.

Rhett’s still an asshole, but it’s softer now, somehow. He doesn’t say rude things to hurt or rile Link up, now he just says rude things to make him laugh. It’s still an adjustment.

Rhett goes to bed earlier than Link, telling him not to go to sleep too late.

Rhett still snores. Then coffee in the morning.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

* * *

Whereas Rhett was a brick wall before, now he’s a broken dam, information rushing forth faster than Link can keep up with.

They stay up every night, talking back and forth about their lives. Link learns that Rhett came from an overly religious family the same way he did, how Rhett had only had sex with one other person-

_Aside from you._

_Shut up._

-and how he’d always been embarrassed of his height, growing into the six foot seven shadow he stood at now at the tender age of fifteen. He could understand, to a certain degree. At a proud six feet Link had always felt taller than average, towering over his peers but he felt absolutely dwarfed in Rhett’s presence.

It didn’t stop there. He learned, through various eating discussions, that Rhett liked almost everything. It made Link slightly self conscious, especially when Rhett laughed at the long list of things Link didn’t like.

_“Who doesn’t like tomatoes? Or cake!? Cake! Neal, yer making that up!”_

_“I’m not! Sometimes it’s too dry!”_

_“Cake is cake, Link!”_

_“It’s really not!”_

_“Expand yer palate, yer an adult!”_

He’d also learned other things through Rhett’s actions, instead of his words. His parents were absent, at least absent enough that Rhett completely clammed up at the very mention of them. Link learned not to bring them up, had learned to navigate the conversation around them.

It wasn’t even worth mentioning them, in Link’s opinion. He’d come to need these late night talks. So much so, that he’d found himself nearly running to the dorms after class on a Thursday evening, just to make sure he had enough time to both finish this fucking physics essay and have the three hours set aside to speak to Rhett.

However, when he actually gets to the dorm, he finds Rhett hunched over on the couch, hands winding through his hair and back heaving with what looked like perfectly times breaths.

Link’s stomach drops and he leaves his backpack in the doorway, coming over to the couch and sitting as close as he dares. One brave hand lands on Rhett’s quivering shoulder, fingers trembling but Rhett doesn’t throw him off.

“You okay?” His voice is hushed, afraid to speak too strongly.

Rhett, however, to Link’s complete surprise, leans into his touch, sitting up and dropping his hands. “Yeah, ‘m fine, it’s just,” Rhett sighs, letting his head fall back to rest on the couch, "nothin’ I’m bein’ dumb.”

Link pushes his luck further and strokes a thumb over the ridge of Rhett’s shoulder, biting his lip. Rhett doesn’t push him off yet, so he speaks. “What is it man? Talk to me.”

Rhett’s silent for a beat, eyes shifting over to rove over Links face before he shakes his head. “My dad called.”

“Oh.” Link’s lips wrap around the syllable, not quite sure how to follow. “Did y’all fight? Or somethin?”

“No, he’s just,” Rhett shifts his body slightly, angling away from Link but still not shrugging off his hand. “He’s just real strict, yanno? He wanted me to go to school and play basketball, and he’s still pissy that I’m not.”

“Tell him you’re too short to play basketball.” Link says impulsively, heart stuttering at the chuckle Rhett let’s out.

“Right? I dunno. Between that and ‘how are your grades’ and doing ya have a girlfriend yet’ and it’s all just. It’s a lot.”

Link is still trying to figure out how to respond to that when Rhett moves, and Link’s hand flies off his shoulder, afraid he was going to stand up. He doesn’t, instead he shifts completely away from Link and leans back against Link’s chest, curls coming to rest on Link’s shoulder.

Link freezes. There’s a buzzing in his ears.

_What the actual fuck._

He’s still reeling when he realizes that Rhett has gone just as stiff as he is, holding himself completely still against Link like he’s just as terrified as he is.

Finally, Rhett whispers, “This okay?”

Link doesn’t think he can answer, his teeth are clenched too tightly and he’s getting dizzy but he speaks anyway, because of course he’s not gonna leave Rhett hanging. He’s gonna do whatever Rhett needs him to do, every single time.

He brings his arms up and wraps them around Rhett’s shoulders, taking on Rhett’s full weight against his chest. Rhett relaxes, easing into Link’s hold and sighing quietly.

“It’s fine.” He wants to say Rhett’s name, but he feels like if he does all the emotions that’s suffocating him right now will take over the word and his soul will be laid bare for Rhett to hear.

And he can’t handle the idea of him saying he doesn’t want it.

* * *

Link barrels into the room, fumbling for the door and slamming it shut when he’s inside, letting his back fall against it. His hands are shaking and his feet are numb. He’s about to lose it, he can feel the edges of his consciousness slipping as he drowns in the metallic taste of panic coating the back of his tongue. He needs Rhett, he knows he ran back here because the other boy's presence is the only thing that can put the earth back on its axis and take the tilt out of the floor.

Rhett answers his prayers when he comes out of their bedroom, eyes wide and mouth open, no doubt lured by the sound of the door slamming.

He’s topless, his chest bare and his sweats riding low on his hips. As if Link wasn’t already having a hard time breathing.

“Link?” Rhett says, head tilting as his eyes rove over Link’s body, raking in the tension that is screaming from every inch of him. 

He can’t help it, he knows that as soon as he’s near Rhett the calm and serenity that comes with being close to him will soothe away the flustered mess his emotions are tangled up in and he pushes himself off the door, walking up to Rhett and flinging himself against Rhett’s chest.

Rhett is ready for him, braced on his feet and his arms come up as Link barrels into him. Link leans into the embrace, feeling Rhett’s arms curl around him and pull him close. 

It occurs to Link that this is their very first hug, and yet nothing in the world has felt more natural.

_They’ve managed to fuck before they even hugged. How's that for ass backwards, huh Neal?_

He’s not panicking about the hug in particular though. Ever since his father called, Rhett had relaxed exponentially around Link, and he’s learned that Rhett is one of the most tactile people he’s ever met. And it seems like he’s always looking for an excuse to put his hands on Link and let his skin burn where they land, be it an arm on the back of Links shoulders when they watch tv or a hand ruffling Link’s hair to mess it up before he leaves.

Rhett doesn’t speak, and Link is grateful for it. He pushes his face into the skin of Rhett’s pecs. Rhett is broad, he smells like soap and their bedroom, and it’s familiar and safe, and Link feels completely held, it feels like home.

Rhett just holds him, hands spread over Link’s back. He rocks slightly, leaning side to side and Link feels him pressing his cheek to the top of his head, his breath lightly ruffling his hair and ghosting over his ear. He walks them backwards, clutching Link to him as he leads them to the wall of the hallway, leaning against it and tugging Link closer. 

“Wha’s the matter?” Rhett asks eons later, still holding Link as tightly as he was when Link first ambushed him, his voice low and soothing, and Link can feel his airway clear. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” He really doesn’t, it sounds like the worst thing in the world right now, to tell Rhett that he’s on the verge on a meltdown because of something as stupid as a girl asking him out. 

That would just be embarrassing.

It wasn’t even anything bad. At least nothing bad by anyone else's s standards. He had just woken up that morning feeling... off. Just woken up on the completely wrong side of the top bunk and he was already wracked with anxiety by the time he met Rhett in the kitchen.

_“Yer gonna be late,” Rhett had sung out through a mouthful of something or other, watching Link struggle to put his shoes on._

_“Keep talkin’ so you choke on that.” Rude, but Link really doesn’t care today._

_Rhett swallows heavily and drops his jaw and gasps, clutching a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Well I diiiid make you coffee and put it in a nice little cup so you can take it with ya, buuuut.” Rhett lifts up said up from the counter, showing Link briefly before turning towards the sink. “If yer gonna be a dick about it.”_

_“No! No I’m sorry, I want coffee, I want it Rhett.” Link stumbled to the counter, pouting and reaching for the cup. Rhett holds it away for a second before handing it over._

_“What’s your problem today.” Rhett asked, watching Link take a sip of the coffee._

_“I dunno. Just having one of my days, I guess.” Link’s told Rhett some things about his neurosis and anxiety, and is grateful when Rhett nods understandingly._

_“Ya just woke up and decided the world was ending?” He asked not unkindly._

_“Pretty much.” Link sighed, shouldering his bag and heading towards the door. “Thanks for the caffeine.”_

And really, for some reason that day everything did feel like the world was ending. He couldn’t get his shit together, and he sort of ambled from class to class, all of it coming to a head and exploding when a hand caught the edge of his sweater on his way out of his last class.

Link flinches way too dramatically, nearly dropping the textbook in his hand. It’s the girl who sits behind him. She’s short, with dark hair and large dark eyes and she’s smiling shyly at him, his sweater still held captive in her hand.

She wanted to know if he was free later, maybe they could get coffee or something. 

And the floor had immediately opened up and swallowed Link whole because the only thing he could think was why would he want to go anywhere with this girl when he could just go and hang out with Rhettm

And that’s when the word, the ugly word that was sneered in the halls in high school and whispered along the pews in church.

_Oh my God, I’m actually gay._

Link could practically feel the flames of hell itself licking at his heels, and he’d just turned and left, yanking his sleeve from her hands and not listening to her questioning call that followed him out.

After that, all he could think of was getting back to Rhett.

Rhett doesn’t push him to speak, just holds him until Link manages to relax. Which is a feat in and of itself. Link’s heart is making a valiant journey up his throat and is threatening to leap off his tongue. 

_He’s so fucked_.

Once he manages to catch his breath, he relaxes his hold on Rhett, but doesn’t make any move to get off him. Rhett has his chin resting on Link’s head, and he lets out a soft “Hmm?”

“Thanks,” Link mutters, feeling Rhett’s steady heartbeat thump against his temple.

“Course,” Rhett answers, voice low and vibrating. “Yer my best friend.” He says this quietly and sincerely, completely flooring Link.

_Oh._

Link realizes with both an exhilarating high and a devastating crash that Rhett’s right, somehow he’s managed to become Link’s closest friend and...and that’s all. The burning ache that eats Link alive on the daily is now painfully one sided.

But he can’t help the giggle of elation he feels even as his eyes prick with flustered tears. 

“You’re mine too,” he answers, feeling Rhett’s jaw shift as he smiles. “Even though you’re still an asshole.”

It’s not much, but it makes Rhett chuckle, and it makes Link smile. And it’s enough.

* * *

“Get offa me!” 

“Get me offa you, ya bitch!”

“Ugh!” Link snarls, twisting beneath Rhett and scrambling for the upper hand. Rhett laughs easily and shifts his weight, pinning Link to the carpet. Link is already pissed, teeth bared and heart pounding. His hair is plastered to his forehead and there’s a vein throbbing in his neck.

_He’s never watching UFC with Rhett ever again._

Link shifts his hips, getting his leg out of the lock Rhett has on him and tries to crawl over on top of him, realizing his mistake a second too late. 

Rhett twists beneath him, rolling Link heavily beneath him and Link cries out from the heavy twinge as his shoulder slams into the floor.

Rhett has him on his back, pinned to the floor as he straddles his hips, Links wrists trapped beneath Rhett’s massive hands. 

Rhett grins down where he hovers above him. Cocky fuck.

Link bucks his hips once, briefly dislodging Rhett before he regains his balance and then it stops.

And Rhett is back on top of him, chest heaving and pressing into his hips, his face inches from Link’s. They breathe into each other’s faces. Link is absolutely burning up. Rhett’s hands are moist on his pulse points.

“Ha,” Rhett whispers. Link feels the word on his lips.

Rhett’s curls are damp and hang limply on his forehead. His eyes are bright and shiny, green cutting through the pink flush on his cheekbones and he’s giving Link this soft, fond smirk that makes Link freeze. He couldn’t throw him off if he wanted to. 

He wants to reach up and run his fingers through those disheveled curls.

There’s something heavy in his chest and warm in his belly. Rhett’s body heat soaks through his shorts.

Rhett’s eyes bounce down to his mouth, just for a second, a slight flicker of his overly bright eyes. His face softens, lips parting and nostrils flaring.

Link thinks he’s going to kiss him.

Rhett leans down then, inching closer and closer and Link is nearly hyperventilating as Rhett’s nose brushes against his. He has to stop his hips from grinding up against him.

Rhett completely forgoes his mouth, instead leaning down and grinding Link’s wrists into the carpet. He hovers around Link’s right ear, breath coming out harsh and shaky and Link closes his eyes, his heavy swallow audible in the room.

“I’m dead,” Rhett whispers, lips grazing the shell of Links ear.

“Wha?” Link gasps out.

Then Rhett drops all of his weight down, draping himself over Link like the world's heaviest blanket and Link wakes up then, all the air forced out of his lungs. He kicks out and struggles to get out from under him but Jesus fuck is Rhett heavy. 

“What the fuck man!” He wheezes out, struggling to breath and dislodge Rhett at the same time.

“I’m dead,” Rhett repeats, still not moving aside from the giggles that shake his torso and send the vibrations through Link in return.

“Get the fuck off!”

* * *

“Let me do that.”

“Wait why? I can do it.” Link holds the knife away above his head, which is stupid because Rhett is a thousand feet tall even sitting down and he can reach it easily. “I wanna open it.”

“No, let me open it.” Rhett leans over him, reaching for the knife and snatching it easily even as Link leans so far back he's almost laying flat. Rhett sits back down and starts working on the box containing a new nightstand Link was trying to open, absently handing him the instructions they’ve already managed to extract. “You look at that, I’m shit at putting things together.”

Link pouted, snatching the instructions away and sulking. “I know how to open a box Rhett.”

“I know.” Rhett doesn’t look at him, stabbing the box and tearing a side of it off. 

“I coulda done that.” He's being annoying about it, he knows that, but Rhett doesn’t rise to the bait.

He does pause, knife in hand and lower lip trapped in his teeth. “I know, Link. But if ya hurt yourself yer gonna faint. I don’ want that.”

He says it so softly, so sincerely that Link is struck speechless, clutching the instructions so tightly the only sound that could be heard in the room was the crinkling of the paper. Rhett doesn’t turn to look at him, almost hiding in his shoulders as he fiddles with the knife, looking down at it almost accusingly.

It takes Link a second to swallow, so ardently touched that he has to wet his lips before speaking. “It’s fine. I know yer a psychopath who needs to stab things sometimes.”

Rhett laughs at that and reaches over to lightly smack Link on the back of the head.

* * *

Spring break snuck up on Link.

It had started off like every night had been starting lately, really.

Link was completely trashed, drunk off whatever swill he’d been chugging all night and Rhett’s voice in his ear. 

Yet another party. Rhett has been insisting on them lately, nearly every night the last week. Link didn’t like drinking nearly this much but the fact that Rhett was there, practically begging him to go with him with those wide, stupid green eyes.

Well, Link couldn’t very well say no, now could he?

_Actually he could. April Fools was a few days ago and Rhett had taken it upon himself and moved all of his things in their room two inches to the left, including all the furniture. Then stood there and laughed himself sick as Link fretted around trying to fix everything and screamed at Rhett with words he didn’t even mean, turning around so Rhett wouldn’t see his smile._

He could say no.

But he wont. He doesn’t want to say no because at the end of the day he just wants to hang out with Rhett, and if Rhett wants to go to a stupid party then so does Link.

Normally he took it slow, barely drank so he was at the very least coherent enough to walk them home when Rhett was done. Tonight felt different to Link, however. It was the last week of classes before they had their week off and he threw all caution to the wind, not giving any semblance of a fuck as he consumed every drink that was handed to him.

Rhett has been driving him crazy

The soft touches and the gentle words. He felt like he was constantly burning up. He was ready to scream, literally. Wanted to stand on the roof of his shitty dorm and scream his frustration to the world. He didn’t, reined in the impulse and placating it in his extensive drinking.

He didn’t miss Rhett in the corner of his eye during every game of beer pong, and every shot he took in the kitchen. Rhett followed him like a silent shadow through the party, lingering near his elbow through each game or watching vigilantly from the corner when Link needed to burn off his energy by dancing. 

Eventually it all slowed down and Rhett caught up to him, a hand wrapping around Link’s elbow and tugging him away from the crowded living room where he’d been holding court over a game of flip cup.

“Hey.” Rhett’s voice snaps through the haze hanging around Link’s brain and drags him back to the party. 

“Yeah?” He calls back over the music, tongue tripping sluggishly over the syllable.

“Let’s go home,” Rhett answers, moving in closer to Link as he leans down to shout in his ear and Link feels a blush climb up his throat as Rhett’s shoulder brushes along his jaw. It takes him a second to register what Rhett’s saying and he nearly falls over from the wave of dizziness that comes from how fast he nods, his previous engagement forgotten. 

The walk home is treacherous, Link can’t even keep his eyes focused to watch where he’s going, and he bumps into Rhett with every step. He sways back and forth, and tries not to notice the gentle hand that Rhett reaches up to his lower back each time he wanders off course. 

By the time they reach their dorm, Rhett is fully wrapped around him, one arm curled around his waist with his fingers digging into Link’s hip bone while the other one holds the arm that Link has thrown around Rhett’s middle.

The lights flaring on when Rhett hits them instantly go to Link’s head, and he feels the alcohol make its valiant effort up his esophagus to his mouth. He dry heaves once, not having eaten enough to quite throw up but Rhett guides him to the couch anyways, letting him slump down.

His eyes close, the room tilting beneath his feet as he listens to the distant sounds of Rhett rummaging around in the kitchen for something. He wants to call and ask what, but his mouth doesn't want to cooperate. He swallows desperately around the saliva pooling near his lips and swivels his head back, trying and somewhat succeeding to stave off the nausea that's flirting with the back of his throat.

He’s jerked back to the present when he feels Rhett return, a glass of water making contact with his right hand and the plastic of the kitchen trash can nestling between his spread thighs. The couch sinks as Rhett sits beside him gingerly, watching as Link raises the water and struggles around a few sips.

Rhett takes the glass from his hand with a gentle touch when Link’s done drinking, placing it on the coffee table and turning back to Link. 

Link closes his eyes again, digging his feet into the carpet and doing everything he can to ignore the pounding of his heart when he feels the couch shift as Rhett leans in closer.

“You alright?” Quietly whispered, Rhett’s eyes boring into the side of Links face. Link nods belatedly, clutching the trash can tighter in his hands. He refuses to open his eyes, even when he feels Rhett lean closer so their shoulders are touching and Rhett’s thigh bumps against his. The skin burns through Link’s jeans.

“You sure?” Link feels this whispered against his face, the only warning he gets before he feels Rhett’s nose ghost along the crest of his cheekbone. His lungs completely seize up, all the oxygen in the room vanishing along with Link's ability to move when Rhett rests his forehead against Link’s temple.

It’s too much, it’s too much and not enough all at once, and he’s completely powerless as he feels one of Rhett’s hands land on his knee. Feels Rhett’s body twist towards his and Link is on fire, reveling in the touch he’s been dying for for the last two months. He's missed the feeling of calloused hands on him, and he opens his eyes to glance at Rhett and watches as two gentle fingers catch beneath his chin. He’s missed the way Rhett’s breathing hitches as Link follows the touch, tilting his head where Rhett wants him.

_Ever obedient_.

All of the air is shoved back into Link’s lungs without his permission when he feels the barest hint of Rhett’s mouth against his, hovering just out of reach.

“I missed you,” Rhett says, no voice lent to the scratchy words. All heavy breath and Link suddenly feels every drop of alcohol he’s had tonight and he can’t, he can’t help it. He knows it’s wrong and he can feel the very flames of hell licking at his heels but in that moment he can’t bring himself to give any semblance of a fuck. Instead he completely surrenders and surges forward to slam his mouth into Rhett’s.

Rhett opens his mouth for him immediately, tongue plunging into Link's mouth to tangle with his own. 

And Lord is it glorious. Link can hear the heavens part and the angels sing hallelujah as Rhett kisses him back, just as desperate.

Rhett flips them then, shoving Link into his back on the couch and covering him with his body, enveloping Link in the heat of him. Link’s hips shove forth on their own, seeking the heat of Rhett’s body. Rhett’s hips grind down to meet Link’s thrusts and Link’s entire world spins when he feels Rhett’s hands wander down to grab at the meat of his ass, guiding Link as they grind against each other.

And Link wants it, wants it so badly. He feels his cock throb as he ruts against Rhett. He’s ardently missed the feeling of Rhett’s body against his own and he whimpers softly, clawing at Rhett’s sweater to tug it off of him, desperate to feel the warmth of the other boy's skin against him. 

Rhett lets him pull his sweater off, then sits up, moving his body off Link's and smirking at the way Link whines at the loss. He shushes him quietly, one hand swiping through Link’s hair as Rhett tugs his t-shirt off, pulling it over his back and lowering himself back onto Link, swallowing the great full moan it yanks from Link’s throat.

Link can’t help it and he latches himself to Rhett’s throat, laving his tongue along the side of the other boy's neck to suckle a loud hickey behind Rhett’s ear. The surge of heat that flows through him when Rhett lets him mark him up makes Link’s eyes flutter. 

That’s when he lets his hands wander, moving down Rhett’s heaving chest to his trim waist and it’s only when he tugs at Rhett’s belt that Rhett pauses, catching Link's hand and pulling it away. 

“Shhhh, baby shhh relax,” Rhett whispers then, pinning Link’s hand to the couch and Link hears more than feels the panicked squeak he lets out.

“No,” Link gasps, a heavy blanket of dread setting in as he feels Rhett pull away, sitting up and taking the warmth with him. “No, I don’t-“

“Hey hey no,” Rhett tugs at Link’s hair with the hand still wrapped in Link’s dark locks. “Breathe, Link, breathe-“

“I am, I am.” He isn’t really, choking on his words and gasping, grasping at Rhett with frenetic hands.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” Rhett says flatly, and if that doesn’t make Link calm still. 

“Why not?” He sounds petulant even to his own ears, his limbs burning with the effort of keeping them where they are.

“Because you’re drunk.” 

“So are you.” Link can hear the slur in his voice, the whiny quality and the ugly desperation that colors it all.

“Yes.” Rhett’s voice leaves no room for argument.

Link tries anyway, throat hitching guilt. “But I want-“

“I do too, believe me, I do.”

Link feels his traitorous eyes fill with tears and his throat clogs up at the idea of Rhett moving away from him, from not touching him the way he’s aching for,

“But-“

“But no. Don’t cry,”

He’s not crying, he swears he isn’t, but as he shamelessly ruts against Rhett and rubs his face along his neck he realizes that his face is wet, and the choked off pleas ringing in his head are coming from his own throat. Maybe he is crying. The thought makes it worse somehow and the whine spills out before he can stop it.

The world shifts again, dropping down a few feet and it’s not until he’s at the doorway of the bedroom that he realizes he’s being carried, and his arms tighten around Rhett’s neck.

Rhett lays him out softly, hands too light for how loud the heartbeat is in Link’s ears and he hears himself start to cry as he feels the warmth of Rhett receded.

“No, no-“ Link hears the pleading leave his mouth before his brain catches up. “Don’t leave me, please-“

It’s pathetic, and it’s gross and snotty but Link really doesn’t have any fucks left to give.

“Relax,” Rhett says in response, words clipped and tight but hands painfully gentle as they push Link down, laying his body atop Link’s and quelling his cries with a deep kiss that leaves Link’s head spinning. “‘M right here, ‘m not goin anywhere. I’ll stay right here.” Rhett grinds his front against Links once more before easing him off to lay next to him.

“I want, I want-“ Link whispers, his voice harsh to even his own ears. His hands grasp for Rhett helplessly. “Rhett, please-“

“Hush, baby, shhhh.” Rhett’s words huff over his face and Link stills, hands grasping at Rhett’s waist “I’m gonna fuck you in the morning, nice and easy when you wake up,” Rhett whispers, pressing a sloppy kiss to Link’s temple and hushing the groan Link lets out at the touch. “But I’m not about to do this drunk again. I’ve wanted, so badly-“ Rhett breaks off with a low groan, wet mouth pressed to the side of Link’s head. “Not now.”

Link feels his face flare up with heat, and it occurs to him where he is; the lower bunk, surrounded by the scent of Rhett and his head spins.

“Should I-“ Link stutters, suddenly feeling strange and lightheaded and out of place in Rhett’s bed.

“No, you’re gonna stay right the fuck here Neal.” Rhett wraps an arm around Link’s waist and drags him closer, Link’s body slotting against Rhett’s. “I’ve missed this tight little body so I’m gonna hump you in my sleep.”

Link can’t handle it, he feels like he’s about to fucking cry and he pushes his hips back, just a tease, to check if Rhett’s really on board.

Rhett pushes his erection against Link’s ass, groaning lowly against Link’s ear at the movement. It eases the knot in Link’s chest just a little.

“Oh-okay.” 

“God fucking dammit you make it hard to behave,” Rhett grits out by his ear, hands tightening on his hair and his hips simultaneously. He lets his head be yanked back as Rhett clutches at his hair, and he lets the breathy, silly sounding gasp leave his mouth as Rhett humps against him one more time. 

“I’ll be good,” he murmurs, close to sleep now but still so turned on, his dick still so hard in his pants that the slide of Rhett’s erection gliding along the crack of his ass is enough to do him in.

“Relax, stay still, please, for both of us-“ Rhett huffs out, his hand coming up from Link’s hip to run down the side of his throat possessively. “I wanna make this good for you baby, I wanna take care a’ ya, an’ I can’t do that while you're drunk so just sleep.“ Rhett presses a sloppy kiss to the crest of Link’s cheekbone. “I’ll take care of ya tomorrow, just sleep.”

Link listens, for the most part. He manages to get a handle on his squirming but it’s not until he feels Rhett’s breathing even out behind him, like he’s already asleep when he feels the question climb out of his throat.

“Why did you stop that guy?”

At first he’s afraid he’s talking into thin air, Rhett’s breathing the only sound breaking the silence that engulfs him. It’s not till a year later thay Rhett grunts out a “hmm?” Barely noticeable to the pounding in Link’s head.

“At the Halloween party-“ his mouth is dry, and he licks his lips loudly.

“He was too close,” Rhett mumbles behind him, those long arms tightening around Link’s middle and a long leg coming up to curl around Link’s thighs.

Well this does nothing but make Link freak out even more, and it takes him a few deep breaths to stutter out his next statement.

“Too close?”

“Mmmmmmm.” The sleepy hum tickles Link’s ear and he drops it, completely unwilling to push it further and he tries to sleep then, he really does. It’s just impossible, with the way the room is spinning and the way Rhett clings to him in his sleep like Link is his own personal plush toy. The mattress beneath Link is softer, much more so than his own bed and he whispers out a question, completely ready to get no response.

“Your bed is more comfortable than mine, is that why ya picked it?”

“Mm-mm”

Link blinks, once, and then twice, confusion clouding his head.

“Why did you then?” He whispers, his hand ghosting down to grapes at Rhett’s where they’re grasped around Link’s middle, threading his fingers between them. His heart skips when he feels Rhett squeeze his hand.

The answer comes far too late, Link’s already forgotten and he’s nearly drifting off to sleep when Rhett murmurs, “M scared of heights.”

Oh.

Rhett’s never admitted to any weakness, much less anything that scares him and he wants to ask, to twist around and beg Rhett to tell him more, give him more of the person he’s so ardently guarded throughout their time together. 

“Why did you-“ He can’t finish the question, but he has to know, is dying to know if Rhett really did forget what happened the first night back, if they’re on totally different wavelengths-

_I’m not about to do this drunk again_.

“You lied,” Link hears himself voice the accusation before making the conscious decision to do so. His stomach plummets and he wants to cry again. Rhett knew, and he- “You lied to me.”

Rhett’s body shudders with a sigh, and his arms tighten around Link, like he could read his thoughts and wants to make sure he didn’t try and run.

“Tomorrow,” Rhett breathes into his ear, hand running down Link’s flank in a gesture meant to soothe Link’s ruffled feathers.

He hates that it works.

“I promise baby, I’ll give it all to you tomorrow, I owe ya that much, just please, Link. Tomorrow.”

Link doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to buckle on Rhett’s terms and let him get away with it.

But also, Link knows when not to look a goddamn gift horse in the mouth. He’s exactly where he’s been dying to be for the last six months, enveloped in Rhett’s body with the other boy's mouth pressed into his shoulder.

He can’t, refuses to do anything to change that.

So instead of pitching the fit he wants to, he nods instead, hoping Rhett can feel it when he nuzzles deep into the back of Link’s neck.

“Okay then,” he says as quietly as he can. He can feel the tension he hadn’t realized Rhett had in his limbs bleed out as he wrapped himself further around Link. A kiss is pressed to the back of his neck.

It’s a long, long time before Link finally lets himself sink into the sweet, warm embrace of Rhett’s body and sleep, quiet and uninterrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 as promised! All the thanks to out_of_nowhere for reading and editing it in under an hour like literally how the fuck do you do that.
> 
> I hope this helped make the story not so, depressing? I feel like all my writings always sad and I’m tryin to work on it.


	5. Summer Part 1

Link has a hangover that could wake the goddamn dead.

He feels absolutely gross, his tongue is fuzzy and his throat is scratchy and the instant his eyes open the headache decides to wake up by playing the fucking bongos on his eyelids.

It takes him a year and a half to wake up. He floats back in and out of consciousness several times before he actually wakes up, and even then it’s a shock. The light coming in from the window is too bright, his head hurts too much, and his body doesn’t cooperate at all. 

Which is probably why it takes him longer than is acceptable to realize that he’s alone.

Link reaches back desperately, pawing at the blankets bunched up behind him and rolling over onto the other pillow. They’re both cold, the bed vacated long ago.

And Rhett, Rhett is gone.

There’s vague memories floating back now. Rhett almost carrying him home, Rhett kissing the living daylights out of him, Rhett falling asleep curled up around him.

Admitting that he lied.

The warm feeling of being swallowed by the affection he had no doubt Rhett felt for him, the lust and everything else. It was too much now, in the cool breeze of the air conditioner. He felt so alone, even more so than any other time that Rhett had abandoned him.

He does start crying now. His overly tired eyes, weak emotional state at being woken up so very rudely by the sun, and his hangover spilling over and before he knows it he’s crying into his pillow.

Ugly, messy crying too. Snot dribbling and mouth open wails and the whole nine yards. Link does even care, just screaming his broken heart into the soft cotton of Rhett’s sheets and ignoring the way his head threatens to explode with each wail.

He’s honestly so sick of crying.

He only manages to revel in his grief for a few seconds, however. Before he’s able to lose himself completely in his crying spell there’s a break in the noise, a hand on his shoulder and another on his face.

He’s being turned over now, soft hands stroking the rigid line of his back and winding into the mess of his hair and Link’s breath stutters as he tries to get a grip on himself as his breathing evens out.

“Hey, hey, no please baby, it’s okay shhhh.” It’s Rhett. Magically it’s Rhett, stroking the wet hair off his sticky forehead, way too sweet for the storm brewing inside Link. “I’m right here, right here.”

_ Baby _ .

The pet name lands on Link like a cinder block. He wants to lash out, to scream and throw things as last night comes rushing back to him with a fresh wave of pain in his head. But the instant Rhett’s soothing hands run down the heated flesh of Link’s arm, all the fight leaves him. He can’t do much besides deflate into the soft sheets and drag as deep breaths as he can through his sore throat.

“None a that.” Rhett’s muttering now, big hands coming to wipe off Link’s tears with the backs of gentle knuckles. “I know baby, I do, just don’t cry. How’s yer head?” 

It takes a second to register the question. “Wha?” 

Rhett gives Link a fond smile, tight at the edges with worry creasing his eyebrows. “Yer head? I know you’ve gotta be hurtin.”

He is, more than he realized as that moment his head decides to give a helpful throb that forces two more tears out of his sore eyes. 

He swallows once, watching Rhett’s eyes track the movement in his throat. “Well I don’t feel great.” He sounds destroyed, his voice scratchy and used.

“I bet.” Rhett winces sympathetically and reaches behind him, bringing a glass towards Link's face. “Here, drink something.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the root of tha problem,” Link says drily, taking the glass regardless and downing it. He keeps eye contact with Rhett the entire time, watching the way Rhett’s eyes follow his Adam’s apple as he swallows.

“There’s something,” he says, once he hands the empty glass back to Rhett. 

“Something?” Rhett counters, one bushy eyebrow rising and something that looks suspiciously like guilt coloring the pale skin of his throat.

Link wants to slap him.

“You lied to me,” Link says instead, eyes hard despite the headache burning through his skull. “You fucking lied to me. You remembered, and you fucking lied to me.” He sits up now, the annoyingly soft pillows of Rhett’s bed behind him. “What the fuck, Rhett-“

“I did,” Rhett says, cutting him off. And it more than anything shocks Link into silence because honestly? He was expecting more of a fight.

“I did,” Rhett repeats, one hand coming up to shove his disheveled hair off his forehead. His muscled forearm bulges and Link follows the movement, refusing to be swept away in it when he catches sight of what is on the side of Rhett’s neck.

Rhett has a hickey on his neck, right below his ear.

A hickey he left.

Last night really did happen.

“And I-“ Rhett exhales heavily, lips pursed and guilty eyes lowered somewhere around Link’s collarbone. “I reckon ya deserve an explanation of all that.”

Link lowers his eyes, feeling them narrow as the mistrust rises up in him. He wants to be vindictive, to refuse to hear it and leave Rhett feeling as lost and empty as he has been.

But Rhett looks different this morning. His face is open and the fondness that Link has grown so very attached to is painted plainly on his face. It makes Link feel...weak. And he hates it, he hates that it makes his arms weak and his eyes water. He hates that he wants to reach out, to ruffle Rhett’s hair and cup his down-turned face and just touch him-

But he doesn’t. He can’t let himself buckle so quickly. It’s even rougher this time, because it isn’t someone who he’s just had a quick fuck with asking for forgiveness this time, it’s his best friend, the person he’s come to rely on and turn to in all hours of his day. 

He doesn’t snap, or lash out or yell. He nods once, wincing lightly at the throbbing in his head but letting Rhett speak.

Rhett however, doesn't for a while. He sits far too relaxed for Link's comfort until he realizes how hard Rhett's hands are clutching each other, like he's physically restraining himself from reaching out.

Link lets the silence hang in the air for a beat longer than it takes him to begin to spiral, and then Rhett finally starts talking.

"So you know about my dad," Rhett starts and okay, that wasn't what Link was expecting at all, but he nods anyways. "So uh, when he called that one time last year, it was a bit more than what I'd said-"

“The point, Rhett, I’m begging you.” Link knows he's not being very charitable, but he also doesn't care.

Rhett huffs out a laugh through his nods and shrugs, conceding. "'M getting there, hon. There was an... incident, when I was in high school, with, uh, this guy."

Link's eyebrows raise for a second before a spike of pain shoots through his forehead. 

"Right?" Rhett says humorlessly, a dead eyed smile spreading over his face. "But we don' need the gory details on that. But after that it was the usual, makin' sure I stayed nice and straight. Personally I think it was all a bit dramatic, yanno? Uprootin' yer wife and kids all the way up here just cause ya heard a rumor that yer son kissed some boy in a locker room."

Link is completely floored by all of this. His heart is absolutely aching over the pain he hears in Rhett's voice. He wants to reach out and stop Rhett's hands the way they are twisted together, but the anger still simmering beneath the surface is keeping his hands curled in the blankets where they are.

Rhett bites his lip, eyes flicking down to where Link's hands are clasped, lingering for a moment before he clears his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, uh, but I guess that's not really a secret 'bout me at this point, huh?"

Link doesn't even have words for this, just blinks twice, still lost on where the hell Rhett was going with this.

"Guess not," Rhett mumbles, steeling himself before continuing. "Um, so, the night I came back to school, he was really harpin' on me, all this bout why don't I have a girlfriend yet, been at school all of four months and all. Made dinner hell." Rhett's eyes flash dark, and Link breaks then, one hand uncurling to reach out and brush the back of his knuckles along the side of Rhett's thigh.

Rhett blinks, looks down at Link's hand and smiles but makes no other moves beyond that. "And I, may have had some drinks at dinner, a lotta drinks at that and-"

Rhett finally looks up at Link then, and Link is blown away by the intensity in those deep green eyes. A tiny smile tugs at Rhett's mouth and he raises a hand up to Link's face, ignoring the involuntary flinch from Link and brushing Link's bangs out of his eyes. Rhett withdraws his hand slowly, but loses none of the softness in his face as he stares at Link.

"I was really drunk, not as drunk as I pretended to be the next mornin' but, you looked so beautiful-" Rhett stops as Link shuts his eyes, unable to handle the words Rhett's saying. "You looked so damn beautiful, when I got back, and I couldn't help, I liked you so much, an I-" Rhett swallows, eyes dropping back down to the blanket. " I thought you liked me too, yanno, after what happened before win'er break and all."

Winter break.

Link had, in all complete honestly, nearly forgotten about that, his embarrassing fainting spell and the subsequent dry humping session that had taken place on the floor that same night.

And how he left you there with your come drying in your pants and avoided you for the rest of the fucking semester.

"I did." Link surprises the hell out of himself by speaking, his voice clawing its way out of his throat and sounding completely fucked. "I did, really like ya, and, Rhett. What the fuck." The anger finally comes and he snaps, snatching his hand away from Rhett's thigh. "I did like you, I've liked you since you fuckin' got here and you did that and then just abandoned me there and ignored me like I was-"

"Hey! Hey," Rhett reaches out and touches him, finally voice all soothing honey and hands soft where they land on Link's thighs. "Sweet thing, look, I'm tryin' to apologize here-"

"You haven't apologized for shit!" Link squawks out, bringing his thighs to his chest to dislodge Rhett's hands.

“Look if you’re gonna be an ass about it." Rhett says, pulling his hands up.

"I’m not bein’ an ass about it!"

"You are literally in the process of bein’ an ass about it!" Rhett is grinning now, wide and stupid and Link is right back to wanting to hit him. 

"I don't wanna hear anymore. I ain’t got the patience for your jokes man.” Link tries to sit up, tries to get out of Rhett's bed and storm off to somewhere where Rhett isn't, but he doesn't get very far. 

He finds himself pinned to the bed, Rhett's full body weight on him and his limbs tangled in his own. Link tries to fight his way out but his head and body ache way too much for any of it to be effective. He finally stops struggling when he hears what Rhett's been saying this whole time.

"Link, Link! Baby, look I'm sorry! Okay I really am!"

Link finally lets himself go limp, telling himself he isn't enjoying feeling Rhett's arms around him. "Don't 'Baby' me." He grumbles.

"Link, then." Rhett surrenders, leaning away from holding Link down but staying close, propping himself up on an elbow, "I am sorry, really, c'mon, at the very least look'it me."

He wants to be childish, he really does. He wants to keep staring straight ahead and let Rhett keep groveling. 

But he can't. It's still his best friend. And as much as it fucking kills him, he fucking loves Rhett, would do absolutely anything Rhett asks him to.

So he does.

"There he is." Rhett smiles softly, hand twitching on his hip and Link knows Rhett wants to touch him. It sends a shock of warmth through him. "I'm sorry, I was scared, and nervous, and I thought you fuckin' died, and the only thing I could think'a was that the last thing ya heard was me bein' an ass." 

"I fainted! I don' like blood!" Why he's sitting here defending himself when Rhett's technically the one on trial, Link hasn’t the foggiest.

"I know that!" Rhett has the audacity to roll his eyes, and Link feels they're getting way too off topic now.

“You were explainin’ yerself?”

“I was.” Rhett still has the hint of a smile playing on his mouth. "I'm sorry, so fuckin' sorry about what happened. I got caught up in you and then panicked. I know it wasn't exactly mature of me, but I am sorry. I am human, Link." The smile is gone now, replaced with something Link can begrudgingly admit looks like remorse.

He's so close to buckling and diving right into the inviting looking space between Rhett's shoulder and throat, but he can't, he's still pissed.

"Ya calling it human that you were the biggest jerk who ever lived fer the first fuckin' semester?" He spits out uncharitably, steadfastly ignoring the pulse of pain in his chest at the way Rhett winces.

"I'm callin' it a stubborn closeted boy with a crush on his bratty roommate," Rhett says quietly, eyes hovering somewhere in the vicinity of his left ear. "Look." Rhett reaches out and takes Link's hand, clutching it tighter when he feels Link jerk it back on instinct. "I was a dick, worse than that,I was needlessly a dick, and I am sorry I put ya through all that. Ya didn't deserve it, 'kay? I really do like ya, can we start over?"

Link's jaw drops and hangs there for a second. He's still getting used to the side of Rhett that speaks to him and is honest with him, but this, this has honestly come out of left fucking field.

But god all fucking mighty does he want it. He wants more than anything on this fucking earth to just throw all caution to the wind and just, just do it, let Rhett get away with all the bullshit he put him through and just, just do it. 

But, but, he can’t.

_ Why can’t you? _

_ Because of what happened when you got back. Because he fucked you on the floor and then fell asleep like he paid for you _ .

“I don’t know," is all Link manages to say, feeling a lump of ice crawl up his throat and freeze the rest of his words. “Rhett, what happened last month-“

Rhett grimaces, his grip tightening on Link’s hand as what looks like genuine remorse creases his thick eyebrows. 

“It was-“ Rhett swallows, looking destroyed. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. ‘M not proud of maself. I honestly hate maself over it. I was fuckin terrified, Link. But I can’t, I know it’s not fair of my to ask ya but I want this, I want you.”

Link has completely stopped breathing now, and he feels a solitary tear trace down the side of his face.

Rhett bites his lip, eyes suddenly shiny and Link feels him run a thumb over the knuckles of his captured hand as Rhett’s other hand carefully wipes his cheek. “Please? I can’ make it up to ya, but can I try?” Rhett’s voice is low and tortured and it does things to Link’s pulse that he doesn’t want to acknowledge. 

The anger is ebbing and god Link has never felt more stupid in his life because he feels his traitorous hand tighten around Rhett’s fingers before he even makes the conscious decision to do so. 

Rhett’s smile stretches and grows, his eyes crinkling up and twinkling as he squeezes Links hand in return and meets his eyes. Link can feel his defenses crumbling like sand as Rhett tugs him closer and he lets him, letting his body sway forward as he rolls to his side.

Rhett reaches out and catches the side of his face, running up his jawline to bury his hand in his hair.

“I am absolutely gone over you, Link Neal,” Rhett husks, drawing himself up to press his forehead into Link’s. His hand runs down the side of Link’s flank to run skittish fingers over the curve of Link’s ass. “I wanna do this right.”

Link doesn’t even know what to say, and he knows he looks stupid, staring wide eyed and shocked as Rhett gazes at him. His throat is completely locked up and something, something infinitesimally tiny about this feels completely wrong, and one iota of himself is screaming in the back of his head that no, this isn’t right, you need answers-

But god fucking hell does he want it. He wants it more than he’s ever wanted anything on this fucking earth.

“You’ve never done anything right in yer life, McLaughlin,” he hears himself say, voice dripping with a sultry pitch and an endearing scratch that makes Rhett’s eyes flutter.

Rhett’s grin grows wolfishly, teeth glimmering in the harsh morning light as he rises up on one arm to hover over Link.

Link hates how much he loves this, loves feeling small beneath Rhett’s hulking form as Rhett’s free hand curls around his thigh and hitches it up around his waist.

If Rhett notices Link’s minute hesitation, he doesn’t mention it.

* * *

He knows what he wants, what he needs. He needs Rhett’s hand to move, needs his mouth back on his. But Rhett’s holding both of those things torturously out of Link’s grasp

Rhett’s eyes are hard when they meet his, unwavering in their intensity and he’s got his eyebrow twitched up. There’s a cruel gleam in his eye, the one he gets when they argue and he wants Link to bend, to give in.

He knows what Rhett wants. He wants Link to break for him, to beg.

Rhett’s hand tightens on his cock and he jumps, hips twitching up into the grasp and he doesn’t even care that he lost; doesn’t care that Rhett’s mouth twitches up in a triumphant little smirk before he attacks Link again, pressing sloppy kisses to his jawline and jerking Link roughly.

Link feels raw, needy and open as he's sprawled on his back with his legs spread, whining for Rhett to move. 

Rhett pauses, still deep inside Link as one hand slowly runs up the length of Link’s leaking cock, all urgency gone.

Link can’t help it, it’s like his hips move on their own accord as he begins to bounce on Rhett’s cock, fucking himself on it while thrusting upwards into Rhett’s fist. It burns, the stretch of his body accommodating Rhett aching up his spine but he can’t help himself, needs to feel the slick slide of the other boy deep inside him.

But it feels so good, so unbearably good and his eyes flutter, closing and blinking roughly as his body is assaulted with the heavy sensations. It’s too much, he’s been dying for this for god knows how long.

“Wha?” He asks breathlessly, catching the smirk tugging the side of Rhett’s mouth when he manages to open his eyes long enough to see.

“S’cute,” Rhett murmurs, still sitting irritatingly still, eyes dropped to half mast and chest flushed a blotchy red.

“Cute?” 

“Yeah, what yer doin’ there. S’real cute. Makes me wanna-“

Finally, finally, Rhett moves. He leans forward over Link, releasing his cock and wrapping his hands around Link’s waist hard enough that Link can feel the bite of his nails, and begins to really give it to him. 

Link floats then, letting it all wash over him.

Rhett rears back suddenly, shifting his thighs beneath Link’s spread ones and tugging him up into his lap. The angle shifts and he feels Rhett slide deeper and the sound pulled from his throat sounds too thin, too breathy to have come from him. But he can’t focus on that because Rhett is moving again. He’s pounding hard into Link’s body and with the new position all Link can do is fucking take it.

And it’s all he wants to do. He’s drowning in the feeling of Rhett’s hands clutching his hips, the feeling of Rhett’s strong thighs holding him open, and the sight of Rhett’s face, open and destroyed as he stares at Link and huffs roughly. 

He’s close. So very fucking embarrassingly close and he can feel it coming and he tries to tell Rhett, tries to gasp it out between thrusts but he can’t. The only thing he’s capable of is higher and sharper cries as his climax threatens to crest over him.

“Seriously? You gonna come just from getting fucked baby?” Rhett sounds just as wrecked, just as broken. 

He is, and he tries to say as much to Rhett, but his visions blurry and his skin surges with electricity and he manages a shaky nod, probably imperceptible to Rhett the way he’s already bouncing but Rhett gets the message anyway, if the way he clutches Link tighter and quickens his pace is anything to go by.

It doesn't last much longer after that. 

Link comes, and he comes hard.

He doesn't pass out this time, but damn near close. He can barely hear the harsh cry that rips from his throat, high and breathy and desperate sounding. 

He does hear the echoing shout from Rhett and feels Rhett pull him tight to his body as he comes, can feel the heat of Rhett releasing into his body and the way Rhett's arching his entire body to encompass Link, like he can meld them into one person. 

He's vaguely aware of floating back down, of the way Rhett handles him like he's something breakable and fragile until his head is placed back onto the pillow. A hand is stroked down the side of his face as Rhett pulls out, leaving Link feeling open and vulnerable and leaving all of this feeling so very real.

Rhett curls up into his side, face pressed into Link's throat as he catches his breath.

Whatever Link was expecting after sex, it wasn’t exactly this. Rhett holds him close, hands constantly stroking over Link’s flushed skin like he can chase the last of the stress out of his limbs. Link has never felt so held, so cherished as Rhett leans up on his arm and runs a gentle finger over his face, tracing over Link’s cheekbones and brows, soft eyes following his fingers. Link has to remind himself how to breathe when Rhett places a soft kiss on his forehead, hand coming around to sink into his hair and curl around the back of his head. 

Neither of them seem to want to break the silence, content to languish in the afterglow of each other. Link let’s his hands run up and down Rhett’s arms to circle his wrists, grounding himself in the reality of Rhett. 

And yet, the words climb up Link’s throat and leap off his tongue before he can bite the damn thing off. 

“I’m surprised, to say the least.”

Link idly wonders if he can fit his entire foot into his mouth or just the toes

Rhett doesn’t seem too offended, huffing out a snort against Link’s temple before pressing a kiss to the spot. “Surprised at what?”

Link feels the blush all the way to his ears. “I’m just surprised you could manage a talk about yer feelings this long.”

Rhett laughs, a short huff of air that fluffs up the side of Link’s hair. “Me too baby.” 

* * *

It’s, normal?

What even is normal anymore

Because, let’s face it, it’s not normal. Normal is sleepy smiles and coffee and dumb fights over nothing and snarky remarks completely unprovoked and shoes everywhere. 

This isn’t normal.

And if Link is honest, he’s having a hard ass time getting used to it.

Now, normal is waking up next to Rhett in various states of undress. Now, normal is Rhett breathing into his ear and running a hand up his side as he stretches before the hand sneaks into his boxers. Now, normal is Rhett crowding him against a wall to kiss him absolutely senseless each morning as he leaves for class, shoving a hand up into Link’s air and leaving him panting against the wall as the door shuts. Now, normal is him coming back from his final class and getting unceremoniously tackled by Rhett until he’s splayed out on the couch with his shirt off.

Link feels like he’s floating most days. He really can’t believe his luck, that someone like Rhett has come far enough to touch him like he wants him, to tug him closer in his sleep, to whisper such sweet nothings to him while he fucks him.

That’s a new, and regular occurrence.

Link never got around to telling Rhett he’s a,-was, sorry-a virgin. 

It doesn’t matter at any point, now. 

Rhett can’t seem to get enough of him, and he takes Link with the same gentle intensity as often as he can get away with it. If Link is stressed and nearly in tears over his homework Rhett suddenly appears between his legs, asking eagerly if he can blow him. 

Late at night, when Link finally goes to bed, the snores have been replaced with Rhett’s quiet whispers, tugging Link down to the bottom bunk with rough hands and sweet kisses and Link is always down for the night before the snoring can start again. 

It’s not normal, it’s the farthest fucking thing from normal. But god does Link love it. He doesn’t want to think on what it says about his self esteem that he just... just absolutely loves his life now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter but i have no self control and tbh with my inability to actually get anything done i don’t know how out_of_nowhere deals with me at this point. Thanks again dearest.


	6. Summer, Part 2

“C’mere.”

“No.”

“Come heeeerree.”

“I said I’m busy.”

“Pleeeeeease?”

_ A please? Well that’s new. _

Link finally looks up from his textbook, sending a heated glare over at Rhett. He’s still lounging on the couch watching some asinine old movie, legs splayed open over the arm of the couch and eyes dancing with mirth. He’d been bugging Link for like two hours, and Link was getting more and more frustrated.

Sure Rhett was being sweet now but that didn’t mean Link’s fuse for his shit had gotten any longer. He’s got homework dammit.

“Whatcha want?” Link asks, trying and failing to keep the weariness out of his voice.

Rhett catches it anyways, a soft grin tugging up one corner of his mouth and he reaches out a hand to where Link is curled up on the floor. “C’mere, baby.”

That gets a laugh huffed out of Link despite the flare of heat that colors his cheekbones. He snorts, shaking his head and turning back to his book. “Don’t  _ baby _ me, man.”

The giggle Rhett lets out makes Link smile wider and he hears Rhett struggle to sit up. “Liiiiiiiink.”

“I’m doing ma homework! I ain’t got time fer yer horny ass.” 

Rhett does laugh at that, loud and full. “I’m not tryin to get in yer pants baby, just get yer stubborn ass up here.”

Link knows that this won’t go anywhere until he relents, so with a long suffering sigh and an eye roll that gives him a headache, he shits his book and turns to crawl up on the couch.

Link has no idea when he got so fucking whipped.

Rhett just looks all kinds of thrilled, reaching out to grasp at Link's hands and tugging him up. Link ends up on top of him, blanketing Rhett’s body and squeaking as Rhett manhandles him into place, his cheek pressed into Rhett’s bare chest and Rhett’s hands on his hips.

This, this is exactly why Link didn’t want to give in. The smell of Rhett’s skin and the way his massive hands come up to encompass Link’s hips send a flare of heat through Link and he shivers, grinding his hips down unconsciously.

Rhett chuckles softly, running a hand up Link’s back soothingly. “No time for my hornyness, my ass.”

“Shaddup,” Link mumbles, running his hands up Rhett’s sides and nuzzling into the side of Rhett’s neck. “Sorry I like you.”

“Apologies accepted.” Rhett’s voice tumbled through Link’s head, but his hands remained firm on his back. “Just relax baby, yer workin too hard, you don’t sleep well when yer stressed.”

This kinda shocks Link into relaxing, and he feels Rhett hum softly as his body molds around Link. He really doesn’t sleep well when he’s nervous about school, tossing and turning and being extra snotty to Rhett in the mornings, but he’s never actually talked about it.

And Rhett noticed, and was actively trying to help.

Stomach flipping, Link tilts his head up, shyly meeting Rhett’s soft gaze before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to Rhett’s mouth, sighing when Rhett licks his bottom lip and presses him back down.

When he wakes up three hours later in a puddle of drool still on Rhett’s chest, he doesn’t even mind getting made fun of for it.

* * *

It’s still dark when Link shoots up, wide awake and shaking and sweating.

He doesn’t even bother to check the time next to him on Rhett’s nightstand, knowing that it’s still way too early for all this, while the dream that shook him awake still played in his head.

He leans forward, hands coming up to wind in his hair as he hunches over his knees. He can still feel his heart pounding and his breath is caught, harsh and ugly in his throat. Rhett snorts in his sleep, rolling over and cuddling into his pillow.

This is the third night in a row he’s been rudely woken up in the dead of the night, panic rousing him awake and shoving him off the edge to sit in the dark and freak out on his own.

He knows why, obviously. 

The end of the year is looming closer, their workload at school is getting harder. Even Rhett is showing signs of the strain, staying up later and later with Link as he studied, taking to pacing the length of the apartment as Link reads out practice questions. 

Link hasn’t handled it well at all. He had to step out of class twice in the last week just to sit in the nearest bathroom stall, head between his knees as he struggled to get his breathing in check.

He’s going to graduate, he knows he is. His grades are fine, better than he’d ever thought he’d be capable of, and he knows Rhett is doing just as well in his courses. They’re going to graduate with honors, then be spat out into the real world in less than a month.

_The real world_.

That’s the rest of it. 

He’s gotten, as much as it hurts him to admit it, absurdly attached to Rhett. 

It’s almost a need, a burning tug deep inside him that sends him out of bed into the kitchen for his morning coffee and to curl himself up in Rhett’s sleep soaked chest. He can’t sleep if Rhett isn’t curled around him, kissing him to sleep with his hands pressing into all the places Link needs him the most. 

He feels like he’s floating through life, everything soft and slow until he gets back and sees Rhett waiting for him on the couch and the color comes back into the world when Rhett comes to him, helping him slide his backpack off to wrap him up in a hug with a soft kiss before he leads him back to the couch to let him rant about his day. 

It occurs to Link, in a loud and fast and very scary thought, that he’s gone and fallen absolutely in love with Rhett. 

And if that thought isn’t scary as all fuck.

Link is shaken out of his panic by a gentle hand on his back. He jerks back out of instinct.

Rhett sits up slowly behind him, arms coming up to circle Link’s waist as he presses his face into the back of Link’s neck. “Whassa matter baby?”

Link is still shaking, but he’s suddenly swallowed by a heavy wave of desperation that shocks him down to his toes.

He needs Rhett, and he needs him badly.

He twists in Rhett’s arms and catches his mouth in a rough kiss, still lost in a panic and the irrational fear that this is the very last time that he’ll ever get Rhett like this.

He knows he’s being dumb, that he’s overreacting, but it doesn’t stop the wave of relief that crashed over him like a tidal wave when Rhett responds instantly, tugging him down on top of him and kissing him back just as intensely.

Rhett knocks at his jaw with a knuckle. “Remember to breathe, darling,” he says, and Link’s nostrils flare, his body tenses, and he’s kissing Rhett again, licking into him with a starved sort of urgency that Link never thought himself capable of. 

“Ya like that?” Rhett asks against his lips as they slide together, voice still slow from sleep.. “Ya like it when I call ya darling?” 

“Like whatever you call me,” he admits, bringing his knees up and hovering over Rhett as he presses harsh and biting kisses along the other boys collarbones. “I want you.”

Rhett sighs, hands coming to Link’s hips and squeezes as Link makes love to his throat. “‘M right here.”

Link makes it his personal mission to map out and memorize every inch of Rhett, pressing his mouth to the hollow of his throat, his sternum, his solar plexus. He revels in each breathy whine and groan that graces his ears from Rhett’s lips as Rhett threads a hand into his hair, guiding Link where he needs him and holding him still when his mouth finds somewhere soft to rest.

Link went willingly, pressing every ounce of love he had burning him up from the inside out into his exploration before he found himself running his teeth over the sharp hills and valleys of Rhett’s hip bones. 

Rhett goes still when Link curls his hands into the waistband of his boxers, mouth still sucking a fat hickey into his love handle and Link looks up.

Rhett is staring up at him with an earth shattering expression, mouth hanging open and eyes wide and shining in the moonlight and Link holds that gaze, pleads with that gaze to  _ please, see me _ , as he pulls down the fabric and takes Rhett into his mouth. 

The way Rhett tosses his head back and shouts a warbled sound that sounds like Link’s name is enough to make Link want to die.

He feels like he has, like he’s floating on the fluffy white clouds of a promised heaven as he savors the rich taste of Rhett on his tongue. His skin is velvety smooth and as Link leans to take all of him down his throat and he’s assaulted with the heavy scent of musk that is sweet and so very uniquely Rhett.

He has no idea what he’s doing, if he’s completely honest. He’s never done this before and Rhett’s never pushed him to, but if the way Rhett is mewling and twitching beneath Link’s hands means anything, he hopes that it means he’s doing something right.

Link bobs his head, swirling his tongue around Rhett the way he knows he likes when Rhett’s on the other end of this act and Rhett whines, high and desperate and reaches down to tangle his hand with Link’s where it rests on his hip, fingers tightening around his.

Link squeezes back, pressing his tongue to cradle the underside of Rhett’s cock and looks up, mouth full and eyes pleading and is met with Rhett’s returning gaze, looking so completely shattered and open and it sends a lump of emotion up Link’s throat. He’s completely hard in his shorts, the mattress providing a cruel tease of friction against his need but he can’t possibly focus on that, has never felt less of a need to take care of himself as he listens to the sweet litany pouring from Rhett and Rhett’s breath catches once, twice-

“Link, Link, fuck I’m-“

Rhett’s thighs begin to clench and twitch and the hand on Link’s tightens impossibly and Link doubles his efforts, his entire world focused to absolutely nothing but Rhett’s pleasure. 

He comes, hot and heavy, in Link's mouth and Link has to fight down the panic as he swallows. Rhett’s body moves like a wave as he does, shuddering beneath Link as the thick flavor of him trickles down Link’s throat. 

Rhett tugs him off then, hands sleepy and gentle and Link goes willingly, letting himself be cradled in the expanse of Rhett as Rhett reaches into his shorts and takes his throbbing erection in hand.

Link is so tightly wound, still so on edge from the overflow of emotion that he’s already close, and his hips jerk up into Rhett’s hand.

“There we go, angel, just like that, fuck you’re so good to me," Rhett’s cooing against his ear, jerking Link off gently, slowly, too slowly. Link needs more, and he clings to Rhett as he fucks up desperately into the circle of Rhett’s fist. “You look beautiful like this, so hot for me.”

It doesn’t take much, and he comes quickly and roughly, Rhett’s mouth swallowing the shout he cries out when Rhett’s hand milks him dry.

He lets Rhett help him out of his wet boxers and pull him back Into the nest of blankets. Rhett lets Link curl up against his chest, running hands over Link and threading a hand into his hair.

“You alright?” Rhett whispers, kissing Link's flushed brow.

He’s not. He’s still keyed up and nervous, but he’s also warm, and Rhett’s hands are soft. And he can’t handle the idea of what would happen if he said no.

So he doesn’t

He nods, pressing a kiss to the hollow of Rhett’s collarbones and snuggling closer, staring straight at the freckles that dot Rhett’s shoulders until he feels the other boy drift off and the snores begin again.

* * *

Link knows he’s too skinny, and it’s painfully obvious beneath Rhett’s giant hands as a thumb runs over the raised ridge of his hip bone.

Rhett is buried deep inside Link, Link splayed out on his back on the bottom bunk and Rhett kneeling between his spread thighs. Link is still catching his breath, caught in the stunning vision of Rhett's silhouette towering over him.

Rhett has this beautiful habit of running his palms over Link's front when he has him underneath him like this, like he can’t believe his own luck. He does it now, letting his fingers catch in each of his ribs. It makes Link feel small, cherished and, dare he even think it, loved. 

He doesn't like to dwell on this, despite how badly he wants to reach down and cover Rhett's hand with his own. 

Tonight, however, is different. Rhett speaks.

Rhett never speaks.

"I love these," Rhett whispers, his thumb catching on the skin reverently as his eyes remain downcast.

"Yeah?" Link breathes out, not trying to move beneath the touch. The shadows playing across Rhett's face make it hard for Link to see his expression, but he can hear the stuttered breaths coming from the other boy.

"Yeah," Rhett chokes. His mouth moves like he wants to go on, but he doesn’t. His eyes shutter into blank nothing the way they do sometimes.

This happens a lot lately. 

Link hates it, hates that he doesn’t know why it happens or how to fix it. He can always see it coming, can see the walls rising up around Rhett and can see the other boy retreat behind them, his eyes going distant and his words coming short and clipped.

Link tries, tries to drag Rhett out with him again and be the light Rhett doesn’t seem to be able to find.

It works sometimes, but sometimes it doesn’t. 

This time, Link knows he’s done talking for the day. 

Rhett’s still caught on his hips, lips pressed together and fingers digging into the bone and Link moves. He does what he always does when Rhett can’t talk anymore. He saves him. He pulls Rhett out of his own head and back into the dull grey light that falls over the lower bunk and rolls his hips, like he likes the way Rhett’s bruising the skin under his hands.

He does, but that’s not the point. 

It sends a shock of heat through his spine and he catches his lip in his teeth. 

It doesn’t work, Rhett's still watching the way Link’s hips move so he lets out the whine building in his throat, needy and thin the way he knows makes Rhett crazy and that does it. Rhett blinks hard twice, staring down at him before sliding his hands up to curl around Link’s waist.

He leans down to lick a messy strip up the back of Link’s ear and heat flares up in his belly as he feels the growl more than hears it.

“I’m gonna destroy you, Neal” Rhett rasps out.

Link meets Rhett's eyes as he leans back. "Please."

* * *

He’s being clingy.

And it all leaves the harsh, metallic taste of panic coating his tongue as he catches himself over and over again.

And it’s not like Rhett’s being... different, or anything. At least it’s nothing that Link can use to justify the alarm bells pounding in his head. He’s still affectionate, still sweet with the way he handles Link, still just as gentle in their lovemaking.

What makes Link nervous is that now, Rhett’s quiet.

He’s quiet in the way he was when he first met him, eyes cast to the floor more often than not and hands twisted in his lap whenever they aren’t wrapped around Link’s own.

And it’s driving Link crazy.

Because you can’t just say that right? You can’t just be like 'hey you used to talk more why aren’t you doing it now?'

No, no of course you can’t because that’s ridiculous. 

But it, it hurts, as ugly as that emotion feels to admit to himself, it hurts to watch Rhett retreat further and further into himself, to feel Rhett’s kisses grow shorter and shorter, to realize that their conversations have slowly dwindled into Link rambling about nothing and trying desperately to get Rhett to at the very least look at him.

It makes Link’s stomach churn. He spends his days fluttering around the dorm like a trapped bird and he feels the walls closing in, all the while feeling absolutely ridiculous and dramatic. He can’t shake the feeling that Rhett is pulling away from him, and he can’t help himself from clinging tighter and tighter, literally wrapping himself around Rhett’s back in bed and curling up in his lap on the couch when Rhett stares blankly at the tv. 

He finds himself staying up way later than he wants to, cheek pressed to Rhett’s shoulder and trying not to think about how on earth he suddenly got so uninteresting to Rhett.

It drives him insane for three weeks, and right when he gets back he thinks he’s going to explode, to cry or do something to make Rhett see he’s slowly dying when he’s assaulted at the door, Rhett catching him the instant he enters the apartment, catching him in a bear hug that knocks all the air out of him.

He huffs against Rhett’s chest as he feels Rhett nuzzle into his hair. “What’s up with you today?”

Rhett doesn’t say anything for a long while, seemingly content with simply holding him close and breathing deeply into his hair. Link hates himself for sinking into the embrace as gratefully as he does. It’s a balm to his aching soul to feel held and he takes it in.

When Rhett finally does answer, it’s with all the brightness Link has been missing from his voice and all the energy that’s waned. “Nothin, just missed ya.” His voice wavers, soft and unsteady and Link shuts his eyes and pretends not to hear it.

* * *

“I think we need to break up.”

Well, doesn’t that just smack Link in the chest like a goddamn freight train.

He almost laughs, a response born from sheer panic as he digests Rhett’s words. He almost thinks he’s kidding, that this is all one of Rhett’s weird jokes that he doesn’t really get until he looks up and catches a sight of Rhett’s face.

It’s all storm clouds, ugly and dark as Rhett burns a hole in the carpet with how harsh his stare is.

Link sits up fully, tugging his legs back from where they had been splayed across Rhett’s lap and tugs them to his chest. “Wha-“

“This isn’t working,” Rhett cuts him off, voice still strangely flat and hands unmoving at his sides. “This isn’t workin’ and it’s just gonna be worse fer us in the long run. We can’ keep doin’ this.”

His accent is heavy and sharp, and each lifted syllable cuts through Link like a knife through butter. 

“But I-“ Link doesn’t even have words at this point, watching Rhett wipe his palms along the thighs his legs just vacated. “Rhett, I-“

“Dont.” Rhett really isn’t letting him talk, and the scream building in Link’s throat dies as it starts in the wake of the deadness in Rhett’s eyes. “Just. Don’t. I’ll stay outta yer way while yer home, I know yer schedule.” He stands with an awful air of finality and doesn’t look down at Link.

Link for his part, feels frozen in place, mouth hanging open and eyes stinging with tears. The floor dropped out at Rhett’s first words, and only now does Link begin to fall, sinking into the couch and the floor and the fucking ground beneath. “Baby, what-“

“Don't-" Rhett cuts him off with a snarl that looks so uncharacteristic on his face despite the many times Link has seen it. “Don't fucking baby me. It’s done, Link. Just let it go.”

And just like every time he did it, Link sat staple gunned to the couch as Rhett got up and straightened his clothes, heading to the front door and swung it open.

This time, however, something is different.

Rhett turns back, locking eyes with Link and Link swears his green eyes are filmy, that there’s a crease of regret and pain in those bushy eyebrows and his down turned mouth is trembling. 

Whatever he sees, it’s gone in a flash, just as Rhett walks out the door and shuts it behind him, leaving Link in the empty silence of Rhett’s words still hanging in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand my apologies mean nothing to you all at this point, but i am still really sorry. Like really sorry.
> 
> I’m also sorry that i have no self control and added another chapter AGAIN but hey lmao whatcha gonna do 
> 
> Thanks again out_of_nowhere❤️✨


	7. Summer, Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can all tell I’m a huge sucker for the fight followed by the makeup sex. Two out of two now✨✨
> 
> AND NOW ITS DONE❤️✨
> 
> Thank you everyone for sticking with me and loving this story the way you all have. I’m actually really proud of this, and it means a lot that this meant a lot to the people it did.
> 
> We all bow down at the throne of out_of_nowhere, even though they gave me several deadlines i missed and gave me many a pep talk that fell on stubborn and deaf ears, i really wouldn’t have gotten this out without you.

Everything after that, to be completely real, is much the same as before.

Link never sees Rhett anymore. For the first week he tries to be at home as often as possible, tries to stay up as late as possible and wake up as early as he can manage. 

After the first week, Link can’t really handle the silence anymore. It makes him want to cry and throw things all at once. It hits a breaking point when he gets to their bedroom and he can’t smell Rhett anymore, just laundry detergent and stale air conditioning and he’s really not proud of the mental breakdown that followed that.

He spends his time wracking his brain over and over as to what would drive Rhett to do this. Granted he’d been growing distant but nothing had prepared him for this. He couldn’t stomach looking too far into it, the thought making him feel nauseous and anxious. He hates the idea that he was the one that drove Rhett away, but he really can’t find any other reason.

He cries himself to sleep twice, then is just too tired to bother. 

His grades go up a level. It helps.

* * *

He’s had enough.

Like, more than enough.

It hits him randomly, he’s sitting on the top bunk in his usual nest of blankets, trying and failing on this stupid final worksheet when he hears the front door open.

Rhett’s here.

If he’s honest he has no fucking idea why this of all times is what breaks him. Maybe it’s the first time that Rhett’s back before he’s asleep, maybe it’s the fact that they have literally three days left in this place before they graduate. 

Maybe because all Link wants is to jump down and run into his fucking arms and tell him that he’s managed to worm his way into his skin, that all he wants is just to be with him, in whatever sense Rhett wants. 

Maybe it's that Rhett has gone from his best friend in the world, to his first lover, to a complete stranger who avoids him when he’s in the house.

If all Rhett wants is a friend, someone who’ll never leave him, someone who will always come running... Well fuck, Link can do that.

It’s a nice thought, one that gets Link down and into the hallway.

All of it’s gone the instant he sees Rhett.

Now he’s just pissed. 

“Oh look who decided he could stomach being in the apartment long enough to sit down.” He hisses out through a clenched jaw. 

Rhett is curled up on the couch, the ratty blanket wrapped around his bulky shoulders and his head bowed. He doesn’t flinch at Link’s harsh words, doesn’t look up to meet his eyes as Link rounds the couch, crossing his arms and planting himself in front of him.

The silence stretches on, Rhett refusing to look at him and it makes the back of Link’s teeth itch.

“Why the fuck did you leave me?” Link finally spits out around his teeth, not even caring about the bleeding heart staining his shirt. “Was it me, Rhett? Did I care too much? Did I ask for too much? Was I too much? What the fuck was it, Rhett?”

”It wasn’t you,” Rhett snarls finally, still sitting hunched over, pulling the blankets further over himself.

“What the fuck does that mean,” Link growls, fingers tightening on the doorway.

“I mean, it’s not you,” Rhett says, harder this time, finally turning around to glare back.

“Then why?!” Link is passed caring how loud he is, how much of this private conversation his neighbors can hear.

“It wasn’t you! For fucks sake, I love you!” Rhett finally screams, face red and throat straining as he stands, dropping the blanket to the floor. “I love you, okay?!? I went and did the the dumbest thing I possibly could and fell in fucking love with you and I can’t love you! I can’t love you, Link. Because I have a family to make proud, and I live in North Caro-fucking-Lina and I can’t, Link I can’t-“ Rhett breaks off then and starts crying. Real, actual genuine tears and Link is struck speechless.

It’s the most emotion he’s ever seen Rhett display, even when he’s buried nine inches inside Link and kissing his face telling him he’s the entire world, Link had never seen this deep into Rhett’s soul. 

Link can’t speak, he feels like his tongue has swollen six or seven times since Rhett’s been talking and his chest is about to burst. He wants to fix this, needs to fix this. He’s loved Rhett since he first heard him sing along to the broken guitar that’s still on their living room floor. This boy has taken possession of his soul for far too long and it suddenly hurts, hurts Link far too much to be this far from him.

He takes a tentative step into the room, hands outstretched for the other boy. “Rhett, bo-“ he tries, tripping over his words and his shaky hands coming up. “You don’t get it- I”

“No.” Rhett cuts him off, eyes hard and angry. ”I do not need yer fuckin sympathy Neal-“ He throws his hands up. “I’m not some pity case-“

“No, you idiot,” Link cuts him off, already at the end of his rope. “I love you, too.”

Rhett doesn’t move, his shoulders don’t even relax as he keeps his back firmly to the door Link leans against.

“Just stop,” Rhett finally says, thick and ugly with a bite to his words. “I don’t need you to pretend, I know I’m like, your gay awakening or whatever, but I’m not about to-“

“God, you’re stupid” Link cuts him off, hands wound in his hair and heart fit to burst. “I fucking love you, I’ve loved you since your tall ass walked in here back in fucking September-“

“Shut the fuck up-“ Rhett interrupts, face twisted and eyes pained. “Shut the fuck up, Link. You have no idea, no idea what it’s like-“

“Like hell I dont, I grew up here, ya Georgia fuck.” He’s not making sense and he knows this, but he can’t stop yelling. “Don't fucking tell me I don’t know what it’s like, not being able to be who you are. I’ve been here my whole life, I’ve lived with the whispers, the sidelong glances, the people looking at you like you aren’t quite right.” Link’s chest heaves with exertion, close to tears himself. "I know what its fucking like, and I'm not about to hear it from some fuck boy closet case who doesn't know how to handle his own fucking emotions-"

"I cannot have these emotions, Link!" Rhett's face is flushed bright pink now, eyes wild. "They are literally things I cannot feel for you-"

"Oh sure, but you can just fuck me when you're drunk, mess with my head for a full fucking school year, and completely go off on an asinine tangent of self loathing bullshit after I'm here telling you that I'm in love with you," Link finally snaps, anger winning over rationality and taking a step up, shoving Rhett once in the chest. "I swear to god you are without a doubt the worst, the dumbest-"

"Watch yer fuckin mouth-" Rhett crowds into Link's space, drawing himself up to full height.

"Most self absorbed, closed minded headache of a fuckin’ person-"

"I said." Rhett grabs Link's upper arms, his massive hands swallowing up his shoulders as he drags Link to his chest, suddenly shutting up his tirade. "Shut up."

Link can't breathe, he and Rhett are touching from their toes to their heaving chests, Rhett’s fingers cutting grooves and laying bruises along Link’s biceps. 

“Fuck you,” he finally whispers, watching Rhett’s eyes dilate and his nostrils flare. “You’re a fuckin coward.” 

Rhett finally seems stunned into silence, jaw working and eyes flitting all over Link’s face with something that looks like panic.

“Stop bein’ scared,” Link says after a year, voice breaking and shaking hands coming up to the massive curve of Rhett’s shoulders. “Please, bo-“

“Stop.” Rhett cuts him off, eyes dropping to the floor, fingers digging trenches in Link’s biceps. “Just shaddup-“

“Rhett, please.” Link pushes, pressing his front against Rhett and feeling the other boy melt fractionally against him. “Please.” He gets brave now, moving his hands up to cup Rhett’s neck, splaying his fingers along the flushed skin and feeling the other boy shudder. “This is real, I know it is.” Rhett let’s Link tug him down until their foreheads are pressed together and Link can bring his hands up to Rhett's face, feeling the soft hair on his chin tickle his palms. "I'm scared too, bo, I am. But I want this, I want this more than anythin."

“I can’t,” Rhett grinds out, eyes screwing shut.

“Neither can I.” Link gives, letting his thumbs caress Rhett’s damp cheekbones. “I’m here too bo. I’m here in this dang town and I’ve got those parents too. I can’t either, but this.” He lets his eyes close and tilts his head up to nudge at Rhett’s nose with his own. “But I love you. You love me too, don't ya?”

Rhett chokes on a sob, hands running down Link’s arms to grasp at his waist, curling around his midsection with long fingers and tightening. His head shakes in Link's hands even as he tugs Link’s body closer against his own. 

“No?” Link asks quietly, softly, dragging his forehead along the crest of Rhett’s face as the hint of a smile tugs at his own. “You don’t? Ya don’t love me, baby?”

Rhett only cries harder at that, arms coming up to encircle Link fully and tucking his head into the crook of Link’s throat. Link raises up on his toes and wraps his hands around Rhett’s neck, leaning into the embrace and pressing the softest of kisses along Rhett’s ear. It feels right, and Link can feel the ragged edges of pain that Rhett tore into two weeks earlier start to heal. “That’s a real shame, bo. Cause I love you. I love ya a lot. And it’s just breakin ma hart that you can’t love me ba-mmf!”

Rhett cuts him off with a rough kiss, biting down on Link’s lip. Link sinks into the kiss immediately, closing his eyes and huffing out a relieved breath into Rhett's mouth. 

Rhett’s fingers finally release his arms and come around to clutch at his back, hauling Link up to his chest and Link goes willingly, letting himself sway closer to plaster himself to Rhett’s chest.

When Rhett opens his mouth and slips his tongue into Link’s mouth, he feels his legs give out.

“I didn’t wanna-“ Rhett gasps out desperately, pressing wet and sloppy kisses anywhere on Link’s face he could reach. “I didn’t, I didn’t-“

“Shhhhhh,” Link hushes him quietly, reaching around him to take Rhett’s trembling hands in his own and guiding him to the couch, sitting him down before straddling him. Rhett stares up at him with something akin to wonder in his eyes. “I know, I know.”

Rhett sniffles softly, hands coming back up to wrap around Link and tugging him closer. His hands run up his back beneath his shirt and brand the skin they find with their heat. “I love you, Link. And fuck, am I sorry.”

“I know ya are.” Link let’s Rhett tug him closer for another kiss. “I know. And I love you. Like, way more than I reasonably should.”

The watery chuckle he gets in response to that lifts Link more than he thought possible. 

It does, but this feels wrong. As angry as he should be, and he is, don’t get him wrong, the love he has for this impossible hurricane of a boy beneath him is too much and suddenly Link can’t handle it, can’t handle how scared and unsure Rhett looks, can’t handle the sadness and grief and fear in those watery green eyes. Rhett is his rock, strong and unwavering and tall. It sets the edge of Link’s soul on fire and he wants to fix it. Wants to take the pain out of Rhett and turn it into something even half of the emotion wreaking havoc inside of his chest.

He lets his body cave into Rhett’s chest, sinking deep into the feeling of Rhett’s body surrounding him and basking in the sigh it drags from Rhett’s mouth. 

It hits Link, right over the head and out of nowhere and he breathes life to the words before they’re even fully formed in his head.

“Run away with me.”

Rhett kisses his lower lip twice more before Link’s heart stops and Rhett pulls back, staring back at him with glazed eyes and a slack jaws

“Wha?”

“Run away with me,” Link repeats, the fire in his chest rising to a roaring inferno that warms his entire being. “Let’s just get outta here, go anywhere. We graduate in three days. Let’s just go somewhere we can be.” Link licks his lips, tasting Rhett and the barest hint of hope on his lips. “Please Rhett.”

Link could drown himself in the endless expanse of Rhett’s dark green eyes, wide and sparkling and he wants to, he wants to dive deep down and never see anything but that same shade of green for the rest of his days.

It takes too long, it doesn’t take even half a second before Rhett nods maniacally, neck cracking and curls bouncing before he drags Link down for another kiss, pulling the air from Link’s lungs and letting Link float along side him.

“Yes.” Rhett breaths against the slick slide of their mouths, tongue tracing his lower lip before biting down. “California.”

“California?” Link gasps out.

“Mmhmm.” Rhett’s voice is muffled now against the skin of Link’s neck as he mouths at the skin. “As far away as we can get.”

Link pulls off, grasping Rhett’s face between his hands and staring deep into Rhett’s eyes, flitting between them trying to catch a lie in either one.

He doesn’t find one. He just finds pure love and honesty and something that drags unwitting tears to his eyes. He hates how much he loves this boy, and how ready he is to just up and disappear to the other side of the country for him.

But fuck it. He is.

“California,” he says back, watching the beautiful shape of Rhett’s mouth pull into a smile before he’s being dragged back down into a rough kiss, feels the hands at his hips tighten to the point of bruises and he’s flipped to his back on the couch.

His clothes fall off inconsequentially, Link hardly noticing as more and more of the expanse of Rhett’s skin is revealed to him and he loses himself in the task of tasting each and every inch. 

When he’s naked, arms tossed over Rhett’s shoulders and Rhett’s wet need nudging at the crease of hip, he lets his head roll back, leisurely letting the feeling of Rhett’s hands sweep up and down the insides of his thighs as he spreads his legs for him.

Rhett opens him up slowly, fingerfucking him at a glacier's pace and taking care to reach that spot inside Link on each thrust, answering each torn out moan with a declaration of love, with another new hickey, with a kiss to the side of Link’s head. 

When Rhett finally slides into his body, Link’s leg draped inelegantly over his shoulder and Link let’s the feeling of being stuffed full, of being whole and complete, wash over him. That’s when the tears fall.

He can’t speak until Rhett sets a savage rhythm, pounding deep into him while his hands claw desperately at any part of him Rhett can reach.

“Rhett.” It’s all he can say, his tongue gets stuck on a stutter on Rhett’s name.

“God, don’t say my fucking name like that.” Rhett huffs out, shifting his body and changing the angle so that Link’s vision whites out.

“Rhett.” 

“Shut up-“ is gritted out through clenched teeth as sweat pools between them.

“Rhett! oh fuck-“ He’s not trying to stop it now, his traitorous tongue taking over as the heat builds up deep inside him.

“Neal, I swear to god.” Rhett actually looks mad now, hands gripping punishingly onto Link’s hips as he fucks him into the couch.

“Rhett, Rhett god! Shit that feels so fucking good.” Link tries to stop, he really does, the last thing he wants is to anger Rhett but god, he’s on fucking fire, and he can’t stop the words that are bubbling up from his stomach and off his tongue. 

“God, you little shit.” Rhett picks up the pace, switching his hands to grip Link’s thigh.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry-“

“Shut up, don’t fucking apologize-“ comes out pained, choked off and warbled as Rhett’s hips stutter.

“I’m sorry-“ Link is crying now, tears falling freely down his face as he’s caught between riding the wave of ecstasy as he feels his orgasm close in on him, faster than he can outrun it and the love that's curling two long fingered hands around his windpipe and clamping down until he can’t breathe.

“Don’t apologize - fucking, oh my god.” Rhett is crying too, harsh and choked off moans that sound almost painful.

“I love it, I-Iove it-“ He’s going to come and he’s going to come fast, and his entire world is focused to the pinpoint of Rhett’s skin against his. Rhett deep and thick inside of him. And Rhett’s mouth pressing wet, open mouth kisses along every inch he can reach while Link is bent in half for him.

“Fuck you’re pretty like this with your legs spread for me. God this body-Link, I fucking can’t-“ Rhett babbles as his rhythm falters completely, hips losing down to make it last and speeding up sporadically as he gets lost in Link.

“Rhett, please... please-“ Link wants it, wants it so badly. He’s hard enough to cut glass, his dick bobbing angry and red between their bellies, catching here and there on Rhett’s skin and teasing him with the barest flirtation of friction but he doesn’t reach to take himself in hand. 

He wants to come like this, just like this, spread out for Rhett and feeling every inch of him deep within his body.

“You’re so beautiful, so perfect, right here, right fucking here. I’m right here baby I’m right here-“ A tear lands on Link’s chest as Rhett begins to really pound into him at a punishing pace.

“I love you, I love you, I love you-“ It’s all Link can manage between the fucked out sounds being punched out of him with each of Rhett’s powerful thrusts and he can’t catch his breath, he can’t fucking breathe. But this is all too good, who the fuck needs air-

“I love you so fucking much”

“Stop fucking talking-“

“I can’t, I’m sorry Rhett I’m gonna-“

“Stop with your fucking sorrys. Just come for me, fuck Baby please-“

It’s that last please that does it, Link’s muscles seizing up at once and a searing heat courses through him as he comes, painting their bellies as his dick throbs between them and he tosses his head back to scream himself hoarse to the ceiling.

He barely feels Rhett tip over the edge right behind him, his hands raising welts one his hips as he feels the warmth of Rhett’s release paint his insides.

Link loses track of how long they lay there.

He belatedly feels Rhett pull out of him, and barely registers the feeling of Rhett trickling out of his body. Rhett pulls him close, throwing a long leg over Link's hips and swaddling Link in his arms, mouth pressed to Link’s forehead as he catches his breath. 

He’s almost asleep, feeling more at peace than he has in weeks. He can almost feel the telltale twitches of Rhett slipping into unconsciousness when he speaks.

“I meant it, yanno?” Link says, tracing over Rhett’s nipple with a fingertip and watching the skin ripple in its wake. “I want this, bo. I want you, and California, and anywhere else we wanna go.”

The room tilts as Rhett tugs him off his chest, supporting Link's weight as he props him up against his chest, Rhett’s gaze flitting over his face maniacally.

“You really wanna go with me anywhere? We can just, go? This is it? I get to have you?” Rhett looks dumbstruck, completely gone.

“If you want me, you got me,” Link answers as honestly as he can.

“I want,” Rhett whispers reverently. “God, I want, I want, I want.” He leans up to press kisses along Link’s chest. “I never wanna let ya go ever again.”

“Then don't," Link says, meeting Rhett’s mouth and kissing him hotly. He can feel it in his bones, he’s never going to waver, never going to want anyone else, this is it for him. 

And with their future in their hands, it’s the most steady Link has felt on his feet his entire life. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> And I’m back on my nonsense i guess. Everyone say thank you to out_of_nowhere because once again without them i would literally dissolve into a puddle on the floor and never do anything with my life, much less write. 
> 
> Seriously though thanks for reading this over and over and dealing with how long it took me to get this chapter done. An angel, a saint.


End file.
